Podcast Season 3 Kickoff & 3 Year Anniversary! Episode 1: Embracing Transformation and Rebuilding Foundations
- Savannah Rose Johnson, BA, CLC, RTT.P
- 5 hours ago
- 17 min read
Join Savannah Rose in this heartfelt season opener as she reflects on the three year anniversary of Eclipse Evolution and recent growth, self-exploration, and intentional life restructuring. This episode dives deep into personal journeys of emotional healing, sobriety, and redefining relationships and career boundaries. If you're navigating change or seeking inspiration for your own transformation, this episode offers honest insights and encouragement.
In this episode:
Savannah's reflection on reaching three years of podcasting and her gratitude for community
The importance of self-awareness in healing past traumas and beliefs
Restructuring foundational aspects of life, including relationships, finances, and career
The decision to close her magazine and consolidate her voice for authenticity
Her journey of sobriety and its impact on creativity and emotional clarity
Writing her new poetry book as a vessel for mature self-expression
Navigating challenging friendships rooted in codependency and avoidance
How emotional regulation underpins healthy relationships and personal growth
The role of radical honesty, vulnerability, and accountability in healing and new life chapters
Insights into embracing feelings of shame, conditioning, and society’s pressures
Stay Connected with Savannah Rose
Website: www.eclipseevolution.com
Podcast Instagram: @eclipseevolutionllc
Savannah's Instagram: @the_savannahrose
YouTube: @the_savannahrose
TikTok: @the_savannahrose
Below are the companion videos, timestamps, full transcript, and also available streaming platforms.
Thanks for listening!
Chapters:
00:00 - Welcome to a season of self-exploration and growth
02:11 - Reflecting on the emotional journey of the past three months
03:09 - Restructuring life: relationships, finances, and career
04:35 - Closing her magazine to align with her authentic self
05:16 - Stepping away from Playboy and focusing on her new poetry book
07:38 - Writing and intentionality behind her upcoming book
08:38 - Navigating sobriety and creativity during the writing process
10:05 - The emotional shifts caused by sobriety and relationship changes
11:27 - Recognizing unhealthy friendship patterns and boundaries
12:40 - The impact of emotional regulation on relationships and ambition
13:41 - Facing shame, conditioning, and societal messages around wealth
16:36 - Deepening self-awareness and embodying true wealth
17:54 - The power of journaling and self-reflection in healing
19:21 - Building a supportive, authentic inner circle for her wedding
21:24 - Healing from past abusive relationships and manifesting stability
22:19 - Prioritizing emotional regulation for compatibility and growth
23:13 - The necessity of honesty and self-work in meaningful relationships
24:08 - Protecting energy and shifting away from chaos patterns
25:21 - Recognizing avoidant behaviors and friendship boundaries
27:08 - Embracing vulnerability and accountability with her partner
28:36 - The intentional journey of her new book as a reflection of womanhood and maturity
29:05 - Gratitude for community and the importance of radical honesty
29:58 - Connecting on social media and staying in touch
Podcast Streaming Platforms:
Companion Video:
Transcript:
Savannah Rose (00:44.494)
Hello and welcome to the Eclipse Evolution podcast. I'm your hostess, Savannah Rose. Thank you so much for tuning in and welcome to the first episode of season three, year three of this podcast. It's so wild that it's already been three years and I'm just so grateful that you're joining me, whether this is your first episode or if you've been here with me along the way for the whole three years, either way, thank you so much for spending your time and your energy and community with me.
For those of you who are new, this podcast is about just a general self-exploration. I share a lot of my own lived experiences in a very honest and vulnerable way so you can hopefully learn some of the hard lessons that I'm learning the easier way. But overall, I just hope that my wisdom that I'm sharing with you can nourish you and just help you feel less alone on your journey, whether it's through relationships that you're navigating, career changes that you're navigating, or
even just the relationship with yourself. Truly that's what I like for this podcast to be anchored in is learning about ourselves and accepting ourselves on a deeper level so that way we can love ourselves more and show up in this world with more authenticity. So without further ado, okay, without further ado, let's get started for our episode today.
Well, I'm filming this in March of 2026 and I haven't filmed an episode since December of 2025. So this is my first episode of this year and it's wild for me to think it's been three months of this year already just with how much has happened in these past few months. And I think overall just the amount of emotional growth that I've been experiencing in these three months, it's been extremely challenging.
It's been extremely challenging. But overall I'm very grateful because I feel like I'm in this kind of hyper-focused... What's the word? Like, just container right now. Almost like a vacuum in a way where I'm really concentrating on restructuring the foundation of my life, especially with my partnership and my fiance and our upcoming marriage.
roguerosie (03:09.87)
not just that but also just restructuring the foundation of myself and what I need for emotional security and I feel like these types of themes whether it's been processing family things whether it's like trauma or Just belief systems that I don't want to carry anymore or even just sharing or sorry shedding Relationships and friendships that I've realized aren't super healthy for me when it comes down to whether it's
showing up in my authenticity or just like the foundation of certain relationships and friendships that have been rooted in things that are against my values I've realized at this point and maybe I was overriding myself in order to not lose those friendships but really just becoming super honest with myself about what do I want to invite into my life in my next chapter.
and who's going to be involved in that inner circle and what do I need to do to help solidify and strengthen that foundation whether it's just wrangling debt like student loans or credit cards or whatever it is and being really honest about certain money habits that I've had that aren't serving me anymore that were maybe rooted in survival at one point but now that I'm not in survival mode just how to be a better steward of my money so I can really grow wealth with my
Beyonce and for the family that we're gonna be building soon and just really wanting to have a solid foundation when it comes down to my career and and also in that kind of excavation of my foundation and security and authenticity and values Really having to do the hard thing of saying goodbye to some career channels that I really enjoyed Like my magazine for example, I decided to close that chapter
not because I didn't enjoy it, but it just wasn't aligned with the person I am today and I realized that where I still want to be
roguerosie (05:16.908)
this messenger of community and acceptance and sharing advice, whether through like videos or articles on how to help people in relationships, I realized I was kind of hiding behind that platform and kind of hiding behind the anonymity in some ways of like, this is a brand that I'm creating rather than just allowing myself to be the brand and allowing myself to show up and my voice be heard without having to
this other platform kind of distract from what I want to share and what's on my heart. So just kind of consolidating. So I'll still be sharing on those topics. I'll still be modeling. I just that's just who I am and I love that. But not stretching myself too thin over different
platforms and brands. And so that's one thing that I concluded recently. And then even just like my work with Playboy, that was such a valuable channel for me to just learn more about myself and express myself creatively and get to know my sensuality in a whole other way. And also kind of like weed people out who maybe were like...
judgmental people Because that was honestly that'll do it that'll weed them out So that was I wouldn't change anything about that but just really I'm stepping away from that platform as well because I just noticed like my creativity again being drained and not enjoying that work as much as I used to especially because and I might have mentioned this to a little bit before in my last episode, but especially because right now I am
all in, locked in on my new book and it doesn't have a title right now so I kind of have like a working title but
roguerosie (07:08.878)
I'm not totally sold on it yet, so I'll just save that for when the title is finalized. But I'm getting really close to finishing it. It's a new poetry book, and so for those of y'all who have maybe known me for a little bit, poetry was just very much a part of who I am. I started writing poetry when I was a young child, and my first poetry book, Ghosts of Letters, that was a book that I wrote in 2019. I I had been writing it for several years.
up to that point, but I published it in 2019 and it was such a huge catalyst for my growth and I think realizing that to make my dreams possible, I'm the one that's got to do them, right? I can't wait around for someone to choose me or like a publisher to choose me. Like I want this to happen and I am fully capable of doing it and so I'm really proud of that first work. And also what I'm really excited about
for this new book is that I've been so intentional with it in so many ways because my first book was one that I was writing from this place of just being a very young woman and not really knowing myself but really just for the first time like processing a lot of these darker themes about my life up till that point or myself and even like some of the lighter themes too like about what I thought love was at that time.
and just trying to process like what was going on in society at that time too and in my place in society. And so it's very valuable in its voice but I mean I'll be completely honest I didn't write it completely, I didn't write it sober hardly at all so that's something that like with this book I being on the sobriety journey and not engaging with cannabis as I've been writing this book and editing this book it's been a big challenge.
because I realized I was depending on that substance when I was writing my first book just to kind of deal with the emotional themes that were showing up when I was writing whether it was like about the content itself or just like dealing with self-doubt or dealing with like the stress of trying to figure out how to publish a book and all those kinds of things. Now that I've had that under my belt
roguerosie (09:35.674)
I have been so intentional with this process of being clear minded and being just in tune with myself and not depending on anything to soothe me, but rather like channeling that and transmuting that emotion and whether it's like from the memories themselves or from the process itself, just being very honest with myself about what I'm feeling and creating a whole new relationship to my emotions and
and their role in my creativity because I think sometimes people depend, and this was me too, people depend too much on certain things to get the creative juices flowing. And I think that's ultimately, if it becomes a pattern, I feel like it does ourselves a disservice because we're
telling ourselves subconsciously that we can't access that without something else. So this was a big challenge for me to just remain loyal to myself and my creative voice and its purity. And being on this journey, like this sobriety journey for several months now, it's changed so much in my foundations and how I process my emotions. And with that too, like I kind of started out saying in this episode, it's changed.
my friendships a lot because there are some friendships that were rooted in like substances being a part of the time we would spend together and it just became so clear to me like that that wasn't a healthy thing for me anymore and it wasn't I feel like it was more detrimental to the relationship than we were willing to realize and
I think also too like...
roguerosie (11:33.28)
I feel like it was never like our true selves coming out.
in that friendship and I feel like it also led to a lot of like impulsivity with other people that would be harmful to me and then with me being a recovering codependent, depending too much on that substance to soothe the feelings of guilt or sadness or anger that would be showing up in that relationship dynamic and so with me really wanting
to build this healthy foundation, not just financially, but emotionally in my life moving forward. It's so interesting how there's such a ripple effect with creativity, with relationships, but overall just the emotional regulation and how that shows up and is the foundation for compatibility and the foundation for...
I would say like ambition in some ways. Cause I feel like when I would be like smoking and stuff like I would...
glaze over and it would contribute to avoidance patterns that I had, like avoiding certain problems in my life. And that's something that like I'm in process of right now. Maybe it's cause of my Saturn return kicking in, but just really being radically honest about like, this isn't working, this habit's not helpful. I need to pay attention to this part of my life and nourish this part of my life. And just really being super honest and disciplined, of course, without like,
roguerosie (13:20.24)
or with the support of my partner and with my fiance, I would not be able to do it without him. He's with me side by side, hand in hand as I'm doing all of these different things and helping guide me and just support me. So I'm very grateful for him. But all that to say, just this huge foundational overhaul.
And I mean, I'm not gonna lie, y'all, has been, ugh, it's been like brutal at times. Ugh, it's been brutal. But I know it's worth it, and I know that the life that I want is worth it, and that this work is something that isn't just gonna go away. It's not just going to disappear, and by facing certain things head on, and learning how to be gentle to myself in the process is,
part of the journey as well. feel like I've been really, like dismantling, I'm gonna get my feelings. I feel like, gosh, I've been, like dismantling a lot of shame.
and that's been like a blessing and a curse you know because like there's all these different things that I've carried so much like guilt over or shame over that are not results of like my muscle burn
not like morality issues necessarily, but just like conditioning. Just becoming so aware of conditioning and whether it's like conditioning around like debt and like how we live in this society in America, especially where it's like more is more like lavish.
roguerosie (15:13.762)
but I have multiple cars, like do all these like fancy things, have the expensive things. And I haven't, I'm grateful, I haven't like placed a ton of value on that, but just noticing how like there's this messaging of like more, more, more, but then like there's not a lot of healthy structure in our society to sustain that. And if you don't go down like the quote perfect path, how it can be.
just like a system that is really set up for you to fail and to struggle. that's something that like, so grateful for my fiance for helping me see and understand like, this isn't something that I need to avoid. Cause that one doesn't fix anything. But two, it's something that like,
It is a service to oneself to confront and to learn about and to see and kind of like wake up to the larger forces that are puppeteering a lot of different things. So that way I can have a lot more autonomy over myself and again, the foundation that I want to build and the security that I want to build for myself and for our family. So.
Yeah, so with that being said, the dismantling of shame and, because I mean, like I have, there we go, the mirror image throws me off, but I have like a book that I wrote about finance when, like during COVID, when I was 23 years old, right? And it's like, I can tell looking back through that book, this
intellectual understanding that I had about certain topics when it comes to finance specifically. But I wasn't embodying it and it was something that like was it wasn't something I was truly integrating into my lifestyle and and really understanding like what true wealth
roguerosie (17:25.994)
is and how like our health is everything. Loving, trusting relationships are everything and that's something that I've been, I think just having a huge inventory of as I've been in this foundational process is like what relationships do I really feel safe showing up as my authentic self, like as my sober, true, authentic, vulnerable self.
and just realizing there's just certain aspects of certain friendships that I was tolerating that I just needed to wake up to the patterns. And I'm so grateful. And this is like a plug for journaling. Like I'm so grateful that I journal so much because I just sat down with my journals from the past few years and was just reading and reading and seeing
Just certain patterns showing up repeatedly and how it would just keep me in a state of distress or a state of Distrust or or self-doubt because certain relationships were just like so Like had this undercurrent of chaos or undercurrent of very high highs and and very low lows and
and just really thinking about my codependent recovery and even popping into a CODA meeting recently, just to be reminded of not just my progress, but the anchor that never fails of that radical self-acceptance and radical responsibility for oneself and just coming home to my values of what do I want.
in my life and who's allowed in my inner circle, especially planning a wedding and thinking about who do I want with me for that day to witness that ceremony and that life transition for me and my fiance and just having to square up to some hard truths, but knowing how much that codependent recovery has gotten me through some of the
roguerosie (19:51.638)
hardest times of my life and heal from the worst relationship I was ever in to finding my dream man, to finding my dream partner and the only man who would ever make sense to be my husband, know, like the person who walks the walk and shows me this consistency and this love that is so pure and not tied to
ego or validation but someone who is just truly there for me and um like oh gosh and like willing to like
roguerosie (20:32.558)
I'll just like sit with the parts of myself that like I still carry so much shame around or that I like have so much wounding around not just shame but just like wounding and just very vulnerable and I mean I'm aware that that's like my own ego attaching meaning to certain themes but it's still very real and
It's just so wild, like, having been in an abusive relationship where, like, money was used against me, money was taken from me, like, loyalty wasn't there, gaslighting and mental abuse was there, and just so much.
just so much like chaos and turmoil to seeing how like when I focused on that recovery journey to have manifested the complete opposite relationship where it's so much consistency and so much safety and loyalty and passion and devotion every single day and
just the emotional safety is so key. That's something that again, like I wanted to touch upon is just how it's so clear to me how emotional regulation is one of the key themes for compatibility, no matter what relationship it is, whether it's romantic or a friendship. If you're someone who, like myself, is like very...
emotional, clearly. But I pride myself on being able to stay with my feelings and not numb them out anymore, but sit with them and journal about them and draw tarot cards and meditate and have introspection and want to work through them and learn from them rather than like...
roguerosie (22:45.996)
I think just some of the unhealthy patterns I've seen with other people was just like overriding and overriding through like chaotic actions or actions that are very like self-centered or avoidant or even just like deception happening as a means to like soothe oneself.
and kind of like that kick and eat it too mentality of like wanting to keep a certain relationship even though certain things are being done that would hurt that person. So just keeping that truth from that person and just witnessing these kinds of things and understanding that like I can be the best friend, partner, coworker, whatever it is. But if someone is not willing to do that work on themselves and a very
honest and serious way that it's just not gonna work. It's just not gonna work and you know, you can still have love for that person and still be grateful for the times that are shared and also like take accountability for how maybe you allowed certain things or weren't authentic in certain ways, which I'm certainly coming to terms with myself, but ultimately,
Especially just again with this foundation and this new life chapter coming up just really wanting to be super intentional and protective of my energy and my emotion and my time because I'm seeing so much more clearly how precious and valuable it is especially as I want to invest my energy and time into my creative work like my book and my
like fiance and not wanting to have a pattern of spinning like webs of chaos or even just webs of...
roguerosie (24:51.278)
like separation from reality even and what I mean by that is by like certain relationships that were just like revolve around phases of life or certain activities that are just like separate from reality so like one friend not wanting to continue the friendship with them because our phases of life were different which
honestly I was fine with at first until it became like a problem for them and there was just so much jealousy there and so much just lack of willingness to understand and be happy for me and that was just so clear that like I just felt like so stifled and being able to exist without like offending them so I just could not deal with that anymore
And then like with the separation from reality, like just friendship encounters that are, I would say just like avoidant of like, I say reality, but what I really mean is like stress. Like just trying to like tune out stress, just to have like a fun little bubble of a moment where like.
there's just still that stress and it's still like impacting their behavior and still impacting how they're treating me or how like maybe they're treating even just like their own family system and just that being something that like it's so clear to me that that can't be separated that like ego will take over and ego responds to stress and if like
someone just decides to keep inviting chaos into their life as a mean to distract. It's just not fun anymore. It's just more chaos. And there's no adjustment time and no breathing time. And that's just something that I couldn't override anymore, especially with the sobriety aspect of really having to square up with how uncomfortable I felt with certain behaviors.
roguerosie (27:08.406)
I just, I had to wake up to that. so again, it's been very challenging and like, like I said, I've had to square up with my own shit too, which doesn't always feel good, but it's ultimately, something that I'm just, I'm learning to hold myself through in a whole new way and allow myself to be held by my fiance and, and allowing our partnership to be one that's based in-
this deeper level of vulnerability of exposing my wounds essentially and being like, hey, this is the stuff I'm really, really insecure about or have been avoiding or have a lot of shame about and just being seen and supported, but also held accountable and like, okay, let's fix it. This doesn't have to be how it is anymore. And that's like...
what? Like just such a new thing for me. So I'm very grateful for that. But all that to say, I'm just so grateful for this new book and the vessel it has become for me to explore my maturity and womanhood because that first book, I was so young and just figuring stuff out and processing things. But this this new book I'm writing is just so
intentional and soul-bearing and it touches upon so many different levels of life and things I've learned and it's taken me on a journey that has been unexpected just for myself and what has needed to come out in the process so stay tuned I will definitely be sharing more updates on that whole process and when you can
get your copy and all that fun stuff. yeah, it's just been a very introspective time and it's the time of listening and observing and time of just very radical honesty and acceptance. So thank you for.
roguerosie (29:28.802)
being on this journey with me and for listening today and for spending this time with me. I'm so grateful for this platform and this community to be able to share these insights and share again what I'm learning and the wisdom I'm gaining from just this thing we call life, So thank you again for being with me and I just really hope that this has nourished you and if you'd like to stay in touch for more updates, please feel free to subscribe or follow.
and feel free to check me out as well on Instagram, Eclipse Evolution LLC, that's the podcast Instagram, and then my personal Instagram is the underscore savannahrose. So either way, I would love to get in touch with you, connect with you, hear how you are doing on this journey, if you're on, if you're in your Saturn return as well, or if you're just going through this kind of awakening as well. So either way.
We'd love to hear from you and thank you for being here. And with that, we'll conclude here and pick up next time. So have a great rest of your day. And again, this is Eclipse Evolution. I'm your hostess, Savannah Rose. Bye for now.
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