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New Poetry Book Tell-All Podcast Special Episode

Savannah Rose shares her deeply personal journey of writing her new book Alchemy & Passion, exploring themes of self-exploration, healing from trauma, embracing the divine feminine, and cultivating love and sovereignty. This episode offers insights into her creative process, spiritual awakening, and the transformative power of vulnerability.


In this episode:


  • Writing process of Alchemy and Passion

  • Themes of trauma, healing, and alchemy

  • The archetype of The Empress and Divine Feminine

  • Spiritual awakening and presence

  • Love, sovereignty, and self-acceptance


Get your copy of Alchemy & Passion on Friday, May 1 (Scorpio full moon).

Click HERE for more info/link to order.


Stay Connected with Savannah Rose

Savannah's Instagram: ⁠⁠@the_savannahrose⁠⁠


Below are the companion videos, timestamps, full transcript, and also available streaming platforms.


Thanks for listening!



Chapters:


00:00 Introduction to Self-Exploration and Authenticity

05:20 The Empress Archetype and Its Influence

11:27 Sovereignty and Self-Love in Relationships

16:51 Healing Through Poetry and Emotional Alchemy

22:44 The Role of Anger in Healing

30:51 Decay: The Impact of Toxic Relationships

36:01 The Importance of Honoring Emotions

43:31 Finding Beauty in Transformation

48:13 Reflections on Relationships and Accountability

53:52 The Collective Pulse: Finding Belonging

01:03:14 Jealousy and Possessiveness in Love

01:11:55 Awakening to Joy and Presence

01:23:13 The Empress: Empowerment and Femininity



Podcast Streaming Platforms:




Companion Video:



Transcript:


Savannah Rose (00:09.39)

Hello and welcome to the Eclipse Evolution Podcast. I'm your hostess, Savannah Rose, and I have my loyal co-host, Cuddly with me as well today. Thank you so much for tuning in and for joining me today. This is really special episode for multiple reasons. But first, if you're new here, welcome. Thank you for checking me out and checking out my channel. It's such an amazing journey being here today, and I'm grateful that we can be on this journey together.


This podcast is about self exploration when it comes down to exploring ourself, our desires, our authenticity, as well as how those different aspects affect things such as our relationships, our career, and everything else that stems from that. So there's lots of spirituality elements as well, if you're into that. But ultimately, I just want this to be a safe space to share vulnerably about the human experience.


and how that connects all of us and I think that that's very essential for this day and age especially. So again, thank you for being here and for those of y'all who are along for the ride, have been along for the ride, thank you for coming back. It's always so special to just connect with the community here and thank you for giving me this space to share my journey and I just hope that my words are able to touch your heart and help you in some kind of way today. So thank you so much and without further ado, we'll get started.


Y'all I know for those of you who are tuning in visually I'm holding up or not visually I should say just audio wise I'm holding up the carcass of my new book. my gosh my new book Alchemy and Passion comes out this Friday for the Scorpio full moon I'll explain my timing and why I chose this date in a minute here, but why this book is absolutely obliterated is because my


editing process is one that is extremely thorough and this is a test copy of the book that I ordered and after a while I just really can't look at a screen. It just it starts to blur together and it just starts to give me a headache and kind of overwhelm me. So I literally ripped apart this book chapter by chapter so I could really look at the pages how it looks on the page.


Savannah Rose (02:39.636)

the flow of the poem and just hold it in my hands. And then as you see here with the different colors, so I was really struggling with three chapters in particular because one of the chapters in my editing process just kind of came through. I was not expecting to have an extra chapter, but I honestly in the process of writing this book just gained so much wisdom and knowledge from the process itself.


So naturally this extra chapter just kind of snuck on through. But upon editing, I was noticing some overlap between the new chapter, it's called Awakening, and one of my other chapters called The Chamber of Kept Things, as well as...


Let's see, as well as, yeah, another chapter called The Collective Pulse. So I'll dive into the whole format of the book, but these three chapters in particular, I noticed some overlap and it felt like the overall flow of the book was starting to get a little jerky, like, didn't we already talk about this? Or like, this is repeating itself. And so I literally had to go through and label each and every poem from these chapters with like a


color-coded vibe sticker is what I'm saying. And then if there was like an overall theme that I was noticing like kind of tone about the poems, I would give it an extra like descriptor word. So then that way I could go through and kind of pair all the blue poems together, all the green poems together, the kind of pink and orange. And then even with that, like if there's some that were both pink and orange, those would be the transition poems from pink to orange or whatever flowed.


I have like a lot of, or I'm just a very visual person I would say and especially like I have this kind of synesthesia going on as well. So, and if you're not familiar with synesthesia, it basically means like.


Savannah Rose (04:40.718)

my brain, how it processes different things, like sensations, like sensory things, kind of like a little overlap. like certain colors will have like certain flavors almost. And it's not like I'm tasting it, but like green has a certain kind of feeling and energy attached to it and even like flavor or vibe as do all the other colors. that's, mean, honestly, it's a very sensory experience for me.


and writing this book and so I just really hope that readers are able to like feel that and feel that care and that attention to detail that I put in to make the arc cohesive and an experience that that really takes them on a journey. So but the cover, I'll show you all the cover here in a second. So the cover, well first ignore this proof line but that'll be gone of course on the the real covers and my author copies I've ordered they're gonna


take a little bit to get here so they're not here in time so I'm still working with this this proof but the the car is designed by my fiance Corey who did such a great job he was asking me what I was looking for as far as vibe wise and he's a very talented designer


and I sent him some kind of like inspiration pictures like I wanted it to feel like mystical and almost like a almost like an occult vibe in a way like almost like a spell book but not like


but not a spell book, like not like super witchy. But I just wanted to kind of give this overall vibe of like the light and the dark and the stars and the the spiritual elements. Like we've got like the moon phases. And then let's see, I don't know if you can tell. yeah, you can. There's also like, this is the spine, what's the spine? So here is like a little image of the Empress tarot card, which that has been a huge inspiration and motivator behind.


Savannah Rose (06:41.516)

embarking on this journey is I would say back in July I really started to tap into this archetype exploration of the Empress tarot card and I really wanted to explore this energy because


Actually a podcast guest that I had Zoe a while ago, she was talking about Tarot and how like the Empress is kind of this overall embodiment of all the different queen cards in the Tarot deck. So you have like the major arcana, which like the big wig cards if you want to think of it that way. And then you have the minor arcana and just like a regular old deck of cards you get like with spades, clubs, hearts and diamonds. You have like cups, wands, pentacles and


and swords. all the different like instead of like queen of hearts, it'd be like queen of cups. So all that to say the Empress is kind of this embodiment overall of all the four queens put together. So all the four elements put together. And just to me, she's this archetype of balance and ultimate wisdom, as well as this nurturing, compassionate figure and someone who is very connected to giving and connected to her community and


creation and how like her creation is something that is


nourishing for other people. And she's also of course like a symbol of fertility and womanhood in many ways too. And that's another reason why I was attracted to hers. I feel like this book writing process has been a huge catalyst for me really learning what womanhood is to me and how I want to show up in the kind of final stage of my maidenhood era before I enter motherhood in a few years most likely. So


Savannah Rose (08:35.797)

Because for those of all who don't know I'm recently engaged and getting married next year. So less than a year now. It's really exciting and the


I would say just that's another motivating factor behind writing this book is really wanting to be present in my marriage and really wanting to be present in the wedding planning process and just giving myself over fully to that process and allowing myself to get swept up in it. And I knew if I didn't do this for myself, like write this book for myself, I would feel a sense of separation from myself.


And for me, being a recovering codependent person, sovereignty has been a very big focus of mine for the past few years and a very, I would say, rooted value in not just maintaining my recovery journey, but I would say, an anchor to my self-love journey as well, is not seeing independence and separation and sense of self as something that


makes me less than or something that is lonely or something that is missing something, but rather discovering and embracing my wholeness as a woman, as myself, allowing partnership to be an additive to my identity and not like my whole focus. so sovereignty has been something that's allowed me to have that balance and to remain myself.


in this relationship and also with that like grow the relationship too because I'm able to know what I need and want and communicate that and I'm able to


Savannah Rose (10:24.02)

set boundaries in a healthy way and enforce those boundaries in a healthy way and communicate them and also, I mean, to allow all that to happen, like starting with choosing a partner who celebrated my sovereignty and who wants the best for me and respects me and truly cherishes and loves me. So, and given that foundation for our relationship, like all those other things have come from that, like when we have maybe like a disagreement


or misunderstanding is something that is always safe and contained in discussion. so with that being said, the Empress being this archetype of divine feminine and balance, and even just looking at her imagery, she's very content and grounded, and she's not in a rush, and she's the symbol of abundance in all forms, not just material abundance, which is


great, but also like spiritual abundance and this overall rootedness in knowing in her sovereignty and knowing her worth. And so I say all that because as I've been in this kind of Empress embodiment,


I would say like, era, if you wanna call it that. I know era is like so overused right now, but it truly is this like era. It's been this very big initiation process for me, like working with this energy and really learning like what.


does being in my Empress energy and embodying the Empress archetype mean to me? Because it can mean something totally different to anyone else. I'm not saying it's like a one size fits all by any means, but for me just learning like when I'm looking and tapping into the energy of this archetype, like what does that mean for me and how does that change how I show up and how I treat myself and how I therefore then


Savannah Rose (12:25.098)

treat other people. So it's really had this ripple effect in my business and then transforming my business model, which there's more to come for that down the road. I'm trying to pace myself like one thing at a time, like focus on this book, work on your business, wedding plan, you know. So, but it's been this huge catalyst like for this book because like I was saying, I wanted to be very present in these next chapters as excited as I am and like chomping at the bits as I am and scrolling on Pinterest and


saving stuff to my wedding board. I also knew I owed it to myself to really close out the existing chapter I've been in these past several years since writing my first poetry book, Ghosts and Letters, which will always have a very special place in my heart and was such a huge catalyst for me releasing and just using my voice and doing something by my own accord and by my own


motivation and that's my advice to anyone who wants to write a book or is just a creative in general is is if you have this this desire to create and this message that you want to share no one is gonna do that for you no one is gonna make you do it no one can motivate you for you to do that like of course I have supportive people in my life but


no one's going to be like, you better write this book or else. I feel like that's something that you, when you learn that skill of discipline, and I see discipline as an act of self-love, really, this walking the divine masculine within ourselves of I gotta create this structure and discipline no matter how I'm feeling or honoring my feelings, but then still staying committed to my goals and not letting feelings override or self-doubt override.


But staying very rooted in that sovereignty and that self-worth of like, no, this is something that I really care about. This is something that I desire. This is something that I want to share with people and birth. more so, it's been this huge journey for me in healing and healing in so many different ways and loving myself in sharing certain poems of just truth that I don't think would have ever


Savannah Rose (14:47.45)

really seeing the light of day otherwise. Because for me poetry is this kind of soul language. It's this way of sharing and transmuting and I would almost say like alco- I mean hence the name alchemy and passion like alchemizing emotional experiences in my body and even like this kind of liminal otherworldly essence to poetry that's that's very comfortable in the abstract.


still coming through in this very like concise eloquent way like taking like the heavens essentially in this inspiration and this like


like even some themes that like I don't even totally understand myself like it just feels like it's coming through me and I'm just like this vessel for this message that needs to come out in some of these poems too and as funny I was joking with my fiance sometimes like while writing like I don't even like remember writing this because and I'll be like damn this is actually pretty good I don't remember writing it but and it's so funny because it's like I'll get these like kind of downloads


And I feel like I'm in just like this whole other state of mind sometimes when I'm in that flow state that when I go back with like my very heavy logical mind to edit, I feel almost like disconnected from that process and kind of like, yeah, I did write this. Like, it's so funny. And even like with the podcast, like for example, I'll be talking, talking, talking and like not even remember what I say sometimes and then I'll go back and watch an episode or be editing. And I'm like, okay, damn, that kind of said some good stuff.


So it's just so funny and it's been such an evident process for just like that connection to the divine and source energy or whatever you want to call it and how this process has very much been like a co-creation and so hence why I wanted to really emphasize like the


Savannah Rose (16:52.066)

the magical elements behind it because I mean sure I do discuss like like metaphysical concepts here and there in the book but it's more so just this.


connection to otherness and each other and ourselves and how you really can't have one without the other and you can connect deeply to yourself and then that also somehow connects you to someone else or connecting deeply with yourself will connect you to the like divine energy or connection to other people sometimes can remind you that there is like this this Divinity that's watching over so it's kind of like this perfect like track


triangle in a way. so that's why I didn't just want to write poems about my own experience, but some of these things that I've been... This is very much in my chapter, The Collective Pulse, where it's very much this... I almost feel like this vessel of...


truth. And I mean that in the sense of like, there's just certain things I feel like that haven't been verbalized or maybe just haven't been verbalized in the way that I've done it perhaps, and that are just important and that I think really matter and that I think, and I hope that they're like life-giving when people read them and they can see themselves in this process and not feel alone.


or maybe feel like someone's advocating for them or just that there's words put to and made tangible an experience that perhaps they've been feeling. And so I really appreciate the ability of advocacy that this work has been able to be a give us a love.


Savannah Rose (18:47.922)

And also like I was saying, this catalyst for healing and literally being able to alchemize some of the wounding that I've experienced in the past and


Giving it this like container like someplace to go so it doesn't so so it's basically like it wasn't for nothing honestly and being like it's not something I have to sit with and Like allow to keep hurting me, but it's like I can process this and I can put a name to this and I can put words this Experience and I can let it live in this book and so as Like beautiful as that sounds it's also been like kind of brutal in some ways and I think that that's why


timeline-wise I'm writing this book and I've written this book like when I have because I I mean I would say I've started writing pieces pretty much where I left off from my first book so I started writing pieces I would say and


2019, because that's when I published Ghost in the Letters. And was just like little pieces here and there. And it's funny because I would just kind of get these little trickle downs of just a little thought of like, I kind of like these words. this is just like a, you might call them shower thoughts, but I'll kind of get these little downloads of like, this is like.


just a nice way of looking at this situation or like this is something that like feels very rich emotionally and how I'm thinking about it and so like I'll just kind of scribble it down or flood my notes app in my phone and then I'll come back to those pieces and like really massage them and and like tap into like the essence of what that


Savannah Rose (20:35.662)

poem is needing and giving to that. so that's kind of the best way I can describe that process. I started writing little pieces here and there, like I said, in 2019, and just kind of like trickle in some here and there. I didn't write very much, to be honest, in 2022 or 2023.


because those were like two of the most just like hell realm years of my life and


And that's when I was in the midst of the abusive relationship that I thankfully am now out of, of course. But because that relationship was sucking my soul dry, basically, and my whole life force was being drained from me daily, as well as being extremely burnt out because of my job, those kind of two things that I was juggling at that time were just absolutely depleting my vitality.


that depleting my creative energy. And I would maybe write things here and there, out of like anger. And that was the only time I felt very inspired and the only time I felt very like connected to my writing urges, I guess you would say is when I would just be like mad.


and didn't know how else to cope with those feelings of hurt or betrayal or jealousy or whatever it was. And so I would like steal a moment to myself to like write something in like an angry way. And those are in this book. So there's lots of tea and very like brutal real feelings in this book as well. But I...


Savannah Rose (22:28.13)

Those were like the only types of poems I wrote. I didn't really write anything from joy or from expansion or from self-discovery or from love. It was only anger at that time or sadness and...


It's sad to say, but those poems still mattered to me and still needed a place to go. And I didn't want to just leave that in my diary and let it be what it was. And again, never see the light of day. I feel like, especially as a woman, feelings of anger are something that we're not, quote unquote, allowed to display in society. It's getting better. But I feel like as a woman, anger was something I really got to explore in this book.


process and becoming like safe in my relationship with anger and how it's this it's not like a negative thing all the time like of course like it doesn't feel great like or it doesn't like like negative things can come from people who can't control their anger or like know what it's trying to do for you but overall like i've really grown to appreciate my anger and how it's this advocate emotion and how


a lot of times there's like hurt behind it and anger is asking us to pay attention to our needs and so in letting these angry poems have a place to live not only did it help me like expel and and release and again alchemize some of that stuff I've been carrying in my body, but it helped me I would say just Not have that


all go to waste and not have those really dark years of my life mean nothing or just be something that I have to regret or something that I don't want to look at. And that's how it felt for a long time and I think I was avoiding writing this book for a while because I didn't want to go there. I didn't want to feel that. I didn't want to have those memories close to me anymore.


Savannah Rose (24:42.412)

But ultimately like...


If we don't consciously deal with stuff, then it's gonna come out subconsciously. And that's something too I knew I needed to really, alchemize before I move into my marriage. And even just now as fiancees, like I could tell there were still certain, excuse me, certain wounds that were showing up and certain patterns of thinking that I was still living with. Shout out PTSD. These certain patterns that like were developed in survival mode.


that like I'm still unwinding. And I wanted this book to be a place again where like I could learn how to release that from my body and therefore like help my nervous system leave it in the past. And so I kind of, I mean, I had to dig a lot of stuff up and I can't tell you how much I was like sobbing as I was writing this book and laughing and also being like,


Bars like God forbid I ever write a diss track You better run and hide if I ever write a diss track about you because some of these poems and this book are lethal I'm like, my god, the world is not ready and so like it felt really good to Get to say a lot of things that I suppressed for a long time


Savannah Rose (26:08.724)

And also that, like I was saying, just feel like that a lot of people don't allow themselves to say or are worried it will make them look bad or like not a good person or make them look like too much or whatever the judgments are, if they are to express that part of themselves. But honestly, I feel like it's helped me continue on this growth journey of my sovereignty and being like, this is a part of myself. Yeah, I do really struggle with like...


jealousy stuff or I really do struggle with like


I wouldn't say I struggle with anger, but I struggle feeling comfortable with my anger sometimes and like knowing what to do with it and not like shutting down. And so like giving that space to be out in the conscious visual world for me and be like, this is something I don't have to be scared of. This is something I don't have to be ashamed of or hate about myself, but rather I can learn from it and learn what it's asking and learn what needs are arising from me.


feeling this way rather than just like burying it and allowing that subconscious to like jerk me around I am exploring it and trying to befriend it and ultimately I think that that's one of the most giving things we can do to ourselves is not forcing us to live in this black-and-white world of like I'm this or that but rather like embracing the full spectrum of who we are


And that's definitely a lot of poems in this book, like a good handful, are about exactly that and my journey with that. And I just really hope it gives readers permission and gives them the power to give themselves permission more so to allow the full spectrum of themselves to exist and to learn more about themselves and what they need and how they are and accept, like radically accept and love these


Savannah Rose (28:06.628)

parts of themselves which is definitely like the arc of this book in many ways and how I get to like my awakening chapter and my devotion chapter and my final Empress chapter like my Empress embodiment and just what that means to me and how it's both light and shadow and we can't have one without the other if we don't have shadow the light is meaningless and if we don't have the shadow the light wait did I say that


If you don't have light, there's no meaning in shadow. If you don't have shadow, there's no meaning in light. There we go. So anyways, all that to say, this book has been just a huge, excavation and transformation process. And I would say I started writing more...


in 2020, like late 2023, after I started to get some of my life force back and my vitality back after the breakup and healing. And so I write a lot about just like that process and also just exploration. And when I was dating briefly in 2024 and just like little moments here and there before I met my ex and stuff.


of just like encounters and experiences and what I learned from those people. And also friendships. I mean, not solely romance by any means, but a lot of friendship exploration, just like connection to people and how people are ultimately just mirrors for us. And they teach us so much about ourselves and whether it's like our wounding or they teach us about like where we need to grow more or where maybe we need to set better boundaries.


boundaries or to release attachment or whatever the case may be. And so just giving like a full, before I get ahead of myself, just giving like a full arc of the chapters and kind of like the timeline behind them. So the first chapter is called Nostalgia and this is pretty much like picking up where I left off from my first book in the sense of like my first book kind of ends in this like


Savannah Rose (30:28.375)

I would say like


like love declaration almost. mean, there's definitely like a celebration of self at the end, but there's like a also kind of like, like the, person I was dating at the time, like my college boyfriend, there's like a lot of like love exploration of that relationship and just the very, I would say like surface level understanding of what I thought love was at that time, which, you know, everyone's got to learn. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, but there was lots of things in that chapter of like what I hoped love could be. And I think I was


projecting that on that relationship. And so this chapter is very much like the nostalgia chapter is very much like my processing of that relationship and its ending and even just like this brief moment of rekindling that we experienced. And like how some things just aren't meant to last forever and that's okay and how like they're


they're still like, gonna get emotional, like, I knew it was gonna come at some point. Just like how they're still meaningful and how they're still like, like so much we can just learn so much from them and like.


how like, and I would say just the gratitude that I have for that chapter of my life as a whole and like how that relationship and that person just like taught me so much about like what I want. And I think, I mean, I mean, I'll always have so much respect for that person and I'm very grateful for how, he treated me. even when things were over, I think that that says a lot about a person is like, if there's


Savannah Rose (32:19.018)

kind in the end and I know that's like not asking for too much but given what I'll explain in chapter two it is something I very much appreciate but and so just kind of like this like hey not everything is meant to last forever but we can still hold like those memories with I guess like tenderness if you want to call it that where it's not like I'm looking back on something to being like


just pointing out the negative pieces, but looking back and being like, you know, I learned about this and I learned that this doesn't work and I learned that not everyone can do this. And I certainly learned a lot of like my flaws and how I want to show up differently. And so that's why I felt like it was important to kind of pick up where I left off on that end, especially with just with how things transform throughout the overall arc of the book and my own understanding of love. And again, kind of how I started off saying like,


the self sovereignty and the relationship itself ultimately being one of the huge drivers of relationship successes, so Because I feel like in that chapter of my life. I didn't really know who I was I didn't really have a lot of connection to my self-worth I was very Ego based and not like egocentric like I'm the big cheese It's more like my I wasn't very conscious of my ego and how it was showing up in that relationship


Relationship And I mean we were kids we were like in our early 20s we're gonna say so we didn't neither one of us knew but we did our best and that's kind of like the overall purpose of that chapter is just like Closing like I wouldn't say closing it's been closed but like being like, you know that mattered


And I learned a lot from that and I appreciate that and I like literally wish them nothing but the best. And that was a part of my story. And especially since it was mentioned in my first book, I just felt this need to kind of have some resolve there and kind of show like.


Savannah Rose (34:22.606)

because I was gosh, 21 when I wrote that and I'm almost 29. So like that's a long stretch of time to explore and learn about relationships. So I just wanted to send that chapter off with love and appreciation. And then it's kind of like a 180 because then it's like chapter two, it's called decay.


Because, I mean, as the name suggests, I wanted to have it be this very visceral, cause nostalgia's kind of like a warm and fuzzy, like, like daydreamy kind of feeling of like, it's far away, but it has like this fondness to it of just kind of like, that's nice. That's like childhood in a way.


But then decay, mean, if you think about decomposition, like it's something that happens with death and it's something that is like kind of gruesome. Like if you think of like a decaying body, it's not nice. And that's honestly kind of how I felt in that relationship. I just felt like a shell of who I was and just the person I was when I went into that relationship and who I came out as. I was so,


Like I said, like my life force was so drained from me and I felt like a walking corpse for a while. in that relationship, was just, it was nothing but like death. was nothing but like loss and any good moments were so fleeting and


based in illusion and I think projection and also like love bombing and Survival mode Because I know I definitely have had to work on like the fawning like trauma response and like some of these things that I say like, know, I've allowed or allowed in that relationship where It wasn't that I was like, I'm okay with this. It's like


Savannah Rose (36:40.602)

I don't want to get hurt anymore so I'm just gonna like be quiet about this or I'm gonna just like let this go or I'm gonna believe the lies or I'm going to you know like because I don't want to lose


this person and the pressure I put on myself to maintain this relationship because of my own low self-worth at that time and attaching my worth to being in a relationship and the kind of illusion I was trying to maintain for myself, honestly, and to other people.


It was just all stuff that was draining. It was not life-giving. And so that's why I call it decay because I literally at the very beginning want you to think of, or want the reader to think of black, like a tooth decaying or a body decaying. It's like, that's where I was at in that chapter of my life.


Savannah Rose (37:48.975)

And I'm just very grateful not being that anymore. And I also like just wanted to be so honest about my experience in that because


like looking back at my just like my podcast episodes the ones that I released right after that breakup or months a few months after the breakup honestly because I didn't feel safe enough to release them immediately after


But once I was able to finally speak on it, I was still fawning. I was still censoring. I was still disconnected from my anger. And I was way too fucking nice. And nice because I still have this pressure on myself of I don't want to look bad.


by being angry about this. And I don't want to like, and I think this is honestly like a poison that is within like the spiritual community of like, it's all love and light and like no bad vibes and like all this crap that is so like just like propaganda of like, it's all good stuff. And it's like, yeah, like I think spirituality ultimately is like supposed to be this vessel for like upliftment, you know.


And I talk about this in a couple places in the book as well, like whether it's religion or spirituality or whatever you want to call it. It's like, yes, it's supposed to help you feel better. But if it disconnects you from like your humanness and makes you like reject and avoid parts of the human experience that are dark or painful, it's not doing anything for you. And so I think like with spirituality in particular,


Savannah Rose (39:42.595)

with that kind of like propaganda of like, it's just love in light. I was worried like being the spiritual person that I am of like, I need to just forgive. I just need to accept. I need to release it with love. You know, all that crap that you hear, which I mean, it's not totally crap. Like it is, I think a place to get to. And ultimately like, I feel like I'm in that place now, but.


You can't just jump to that. I mean, with any grief process, there's the anger, there's denial, there's bargaining, like, you know, and then you get to acceptance, right? But, and this is a little bit different, but, because I wasn't really grieving that relationship, I was like relieved and like so happy to be out of it. But there was still so much grief that I was experiencing and like losing who I was. And again, like what I allowed because of the survival


mode being and being so disconnected from my sovereignty and my sense of self-worth that I just tolerated and took the the beatings like I deserved it and and so like I think like we do ourselves like this such a


a disservice by trying to jump to the acceptance stage and to like the I forgive stage because sometimes like you gotta just fucking be mad and that is sometimes the best medicine for you because that's how you really really I think let it sink into yourself of like that was not okay and that was fucked up and I don't forgive I will never forgive like I don't hold that in me anymore


and I don't like stew and brew on it anymore, but I will never, if I ever come face to face with that person again, I will not be nice. I will not, I won't like start drama or whatever, but like, I mean, they're dead to me and like, they're always going to be in my, like not in my mind, but like in this book, they are preserved eternally as the monster that they are. And that's just the fucking truth. And that's something that needs to be known.


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And not just like for me and my own like, like alchemizing of that experience, but just because I feel like people tolerate so much under this guise of love. And this is something that I was definitely taught.


Like, not just in, like, media, but certainly there, of like, the terrible boyfriend and, like, taking them back because, like, they really just, like, love each other and, like, love overpowers all. like, no, love doesn't allow...


Lot of like bullshit like like if you truly love someone you don't do messed up stuff to them period and like again We're all human and people make mistakes, but it's like when it's a pattern and it's like a blatant personality trait to be a sociopath and like to have no remorse and to take pleasure in someone hurting who


does nothing but like give to you, like that is not love. Time out, time the fuck out. That is not okay. And this is something I was definitely taught like in my family.


just with like certain relatives like whether they had like addiction problems or just like mental health problems and it was like we just got to love them harder. We just got to work harder so they don't you know so they change or we just have to like keep quiet so they don't feel bad and it was just this like awful message of like letting this person get away with being abusive and I definitely internalized that and then it mirrored it in this relationship where I just was so


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So like, I just gotta work harder. I just gotta give more. I just gotta love them. I just gotta like give them all the fucking grace in the world. And what's left for me? Like a breadcrumb? Like a moment where, you know, I'm not feeling like totally anxious?


And it's just, feel like I see this way too much in our society still to this day. And it's something that I just wanted to be very honest about not, and let me be clear, it's not just like a, I'm shit talking my ex chapter. It's like, this is stuff that I know does not only happen to me. And I want people to read this.


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and know that they don't have to stay in that and like...


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that like no one deserves that.


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and no one deserves.


to make you feel that way.


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and to like get away with it and to keep up this just poisonous persona of being the nice guy or for being like the chill guy or you know whatever it is it's like no like you're a deeply deeply wounded sick person


who is not, I believe, capable of changing. And I'm not gonna stick around to witness any attempts anymore. And that was really the point that I was at upon ending things. It's just like, and I remember sharing this in an episode prior, but just for clarity's sake, I remember like,


being at this kind of awakening of this is something I cannot live in anymore. And having just this, similar to my poems and how they come to me, just having this piece wash over me of you don't have to hurt anymore, better things are coming. And just that being my anchor and my mantra as I went through that whole process.


But of course it takes so much time to unwind from trauma and especially repeated complex trauma over years.


And something I'm so grateful for with this book is not only like speaking my truth and giving like this step a place to go, but when I have those moments where I feel triggered or I have like a nightmare or I have like fear show up because my body is still learning how to feel safe again, I can like...


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reference my own writing and I can reference those those pages and the power it brought me to say things and to express them and be like, okay


This is where I'm at right now. This isn't something that I'm living anymore. This is something that lives in here on these pages and it's done. And that's something that like has been honestly like very cathartic yet still very challenging even with this book being complete and about to be released.


the, I would say like almost like aftershock in a way, because when I was done and submitted my manuscript, I like crashed so hard for a couple of days and I was like super depressed.


And I know like when you release something and you finish something, it should feel like, did that. Like pat on the back. I feel great. I can't wait to celebrate. And I know I'll get there, but I was, and I was still, I'll be honest, like I'm not there yet. Like it's been, it's been like really hard and like.


I feel like,


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There's of course like this pressure, like not necessarily from other people, but I feel like there's this expectation of what I just described of like, woo, celebrate. And I know when I get to that stage, it's gonna be blissful. It's gonna be, I'll be ecstatic. But I think there's so much, there's so much importance in respecting and honoring all the work that,


it took to get to this place and just all the emotion that like I'm still releasing because it's one thing to write it out it's another thing for it to like be received by other people and I actually like


read one of my poems at this retreat that I was at and well I read a few poems but I read one that was like on the more like serious kind of grief note and I read it at this retreat in front of like you 300 people and I sobbed the whole time uncontrollably I could like barely get it out and it was because like


I think just being seen finally and not having to hide that experience and just like the like courage it takes to be so like vulnerable.


It is not for the faint heart. It is not for the faint heart. But you know, like again, I push through and tap into that courage and like just my heart strength because like, again, I want this to matter. It's my meaning making vessel behind all of this. Cause I look back at that version of me.


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just a few years ago who felt so hopeless and who felt so like...


Like,


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and just like, unlovable.


and I just like


I see my life now and how it's so beautiful. And it's exactly like the way I've envisioned my life, like how I want it to look like in so many ways. And it's so full of love and so full of joy and peace and cuteness and excitement and expansion and...


as grateful as I am to be where I am today, I wouldn't have done it without that version of me, know? The version of me that was sick of accepting just the bleak reality that I had to live in for every day, like every day. And that kind of stuff just does not go away. And so I think like...


why I was feeling so depressed.


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these past few days is one, just I was very exhausted. I'm not gonna lie. And like when I'm tired, I'm a different person. I, when I'm super exhausted, I just like, I have like nothing to give and I can't like, my personality just like is hard to reach. And I feel like I just have to be nonverbal and I just have to like rest and cause I put so much energy into this work. And


I was describing it in my fiance like I'm empty and I just need to be empty for a little bit. Like I don't need to like fill up right away, but I just need to like let this space be for a bit. And it looks, it looks like depression. I don't actually feel like,


like sad necessarily. I know these tears might fool you, but it's just very much like this feeling of,


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emptiness but not in like a bad way like I know that empty space is gonna be filled like I said but I just need it to be clear for a little bit and I just need it to rest and heal a little bit I mean even just thinking about like being a woman like our womb space like


We go through cycles and we like have to release and like menstruate and empty out. It takes a little bit of time to rebuild and be ready to like house a fetus if that's what you want, you know, but just like our body going through that cycle.


And the creative cycle for me feels very, very similar. Like I feel like I literally just gave birth and I am like so exhausted and I'm like going through like creative postpartum where I'm just like, I have nothing to give. And I am just trying to like, pace myself and not put pressure on myself to like...


go crazy with the promotion. And so I was like, you know, I'll do my podcast because I want to do this. And it's, it's a very good space for me to process, which is what I've been needing. but also I can slice and dice these clips and have content for days. I'm like, I have got to rest. but I've been slowly but surely each day doing a lot better, feeling a lot better, feeling like myself again, excuse me. It's I'm getting all my snot out.


the human body. So that's chapter two and so I I wrote a lot I wrote like a handful of the poems


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when I was deep in that phase like I said and having just these bursts of anger or like hurt that needed to come out but a lot of the poems are like reflective that I wrote just in these past like six months of when I really started to hunker down and hone in on this project and it was I think it came to me so I say late but time time is a social construct but it took me a couple years of just space


and healing to finally feel like I had the capacity and the strength to even look at those memories. And there was so much that came up that I had suppressed and that was like really hard to accept. But I knew I owed it to myself to be honest and to allow it to come out and again, alchemize.


And so I just hope anyone who reads it is able to learn from it. And if they're in a situation that's similar, like again, like you do not have to stay in that. Please get out. You deserve to feel joy and love and peace, period, period. And you know, I highly doubt.


you know, the person who inspired that chapter will read it, who knows, but you know, if he does, I just really, really, really hope you take accountability and don't ever put someone else through that shit, because no one deserves to go through that. who are you for thinking that was okay or justified in any way? Like, the fuck? But anyways, so that's decay.


my god. let me take a sip of my drink real quick.


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So, not for the faint of heart, that's gonna be a chapter. you're like, and I put a trigger warning in the beginning of this book, but if you're like someone who maybe has gone through something similar and you might find that chapter triggering, like you don't have to read it, but if you do,


Please take care of yourself in the process because I know for me I had to do and lean into a lot of self care as I've been writing this book and not push myself because it was funny just last year when I started cranking up writing hardcore I was like I'm gonna publish it by the end of the year.


And it just was not able to happen. I just didn't have it in me. And then I remembered, yeah, I'm my own boss and I don't have to have strict deadlines and I don't have to push myself to the point of burnout and resenting and hating this project. I can face myself, however.


or so I want to. I'm like, thank goodness for that. So that's how I came up on May 1st being the deadline because I knew I needed a deadline or I would just keep tinkering away. But I had it spaced out enough to where like I wanted it to not be during eclipse season, not be during retrograde, and also the Scorpio full moon. Full moons are just such a great energy to release anyways, like to publish and release and share. But it's the Scorpio


full moon and I have a Scorpio stellium being a Scorpio rising Venus and Mars which I talk about in this this book as well and the the joy that that is sometimes and the challenge that it is sometimes but I wanted to again like embrace my power and my becoming an empowerment


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in this whole process and I felt like the Scorpio Full Moon just is like the perfect marriage of all those themes and not just like great astrology timing universally, but it connects to me and my journey as well. So that's how I landed on May 1st.


Yeah, so yeah, January, February, March, we're all like hardcore writing, editing, and then March, April, we're all like more editing, refinement. And yeah, she's gonna be out this Friday. It's crazy, my God, this big hunk of chunk of thing. Almost, I mean, actually it's over 400 pages, which is nutty. That's a thick book, but.


So yeah, chapter two is decay. Chapter three is, I want to say, I'm trying to remember. I like reorganized and I like can't remember. I want to say chapter three is missed connections. Yeah, that's right. So missed connections is basically like, that's honestly the chapter with like the most, like, I wouldn't say the most, but there's like a lot of like petty tea in that chapter. Because those were like moments from


2021 and like just exploring again through people and connections. I say misconnections because they were like things that just kind of came and went like they were not meant to last but just like what I learned from it and also again just like


is speaking out on stuff that's just not okay. So yeah, there's some themes in there from that chapter or that like era. So like 2021 and then also like 2024. Yeah, before I met my fiance. So kind of like these little like brief moments in time where I was exploring dating a little bit.


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and just kind of like learning about myself through other people and through these experiences that I was coming into. So it's funny because like if you wanted to like or I guess I say it's like a petty chapter because it's kind of where I'm calling out like the people who couldn't handle me will just say it like that. So like people who like tried to date me but like


it just didn't work out because they couldn't rise up to my standards. So there's a lot of frustration in that chapter about that. Then also there's some moments that I explore too where it's like, I messed up on this. This was something I shouldn't have done. Or this is something that I regret and I'm honest about that. So that's kind of a little gossipy. I hate to say gossip because it sounds like, I feel like it dilutes the meaning. But it's like the chapter that like,


I feel like I'm talking to the girls a little bit. Like this is a chapter where like the girl is to understand. And again, like taking those experiences and have them not just mean nothing, but be like, this is something I gained from this experience. Like I learned this, I learned to not tolerate this. learned like, again, I should be angry about this or I learned like accountability or like I kind of messed up here or this is not what I want to continue to foster in my


life. those just kind of like little brief moments here and there that still brought something for me to explore and share. So that's Miss Connections. And then let's see.


And then I believe it goes into the collective pulse next, which is honestly probably one of my favorite chapters. I'm really excited to share this chapter with people because it's a very like heartfelt love letter to humanity and my connection to other people, which hasn't always felt very easy. I've always felt kind of like this person on


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the outskirts of life and I mean from my whole life I've always just felt very different and like I just haven't really belonged anywhere but I feel like I've found a sense of belonging in writing this chapter and in being this leader almost of


movement of advocacy of my generation. I feel like this chapter is like me not feeling so separate from people anymore but tuning into the collective and like the hum that I sense and pick up on and maybe I don't always feel a part of it but there is still a purpose for me and that's felt really good.


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Because I think like growing up and even just moving through adulthood, just not ever feeling like I belong anywhere. It's been like a very isolating experience. But also like...


creating that belonging for myself and being of service in a way that honors myself. Like I don't have to abandon myself to be of service, that's something I've learned. But also like naturally in tuning in and sharing my experience and tuning into this collective seeing that there's been a place for me all along and I just needed to step into it, really.


And that's felt really good. And I'm just very excited to keep expanding on that and hopefully continue to attract my tribe.


cause I just haven't always felt like I've had one. I've had like friendship groups here and there, but this just been very short lived. and I know this is like something as like a human design manifesto that we all kind of struggle with. but it's something I'm, I don't want to just like accept of like, I'm an outcast, I'm an outsider, I'm a lone wolf. It's like, that's definitely how it's felt.


But I refuse to buy into that totally or model my life around it. I think it's just about...


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being honest about who I am, being authentic, sharing my perception of the tenderness that I think surrounds all of us as humans and allowing that to bring back to me people who connect and appreciate who I am without having like make myself any smaller. Cause I do care about other people. mean, look at my business for goodness sake, like I'm in the helping profession. I do love helping people.


And so this has been kind of my way to like bridge what I do professionally to like my personal life in some ways because I will notice just with my clients very similar themes showing up here and there and then like I'll see online very similar themes and I'm like I don't think anyone's really connecting the dots and


being brave enough to, I think, speak upon certain things. And so I was like, maybe that should be me. Maybe that's my purpose, is to tap into my heart's courage and...


be vocal about certain things that I think whether people are scared to or maybe ashamed to talk about, whatever the reason is, I want to bring it into the light in order to heal and unite people because I feel like there's just this huge divide happening and


and just there's more separation than ever in this world that's literally globally connected. There's just so much separation and there's so much animosity for what. so all that to say this chapter is just I really want it to be a bridge to people and help us.


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Remember that we need each other, you know, so that's That chapter so the collective pulse And then the next chapter I believe so that's chapter four Okay next chapter It's funny. I have to think about this. The next chapter is the chamber of kept things so This is a chapter because like I mentioned the first few chapters are like very much


me processing experiences with people and like specific looks at relationships. But then the Chamber of Kept Things is very much this exploration of like the darkness within myself and exploring that and coming to peace with it and


And I do this because there are certain things that I, again, feel like I needed to bring light to and to heal from and really shame about in order for me to really move through and grow and expand on. But then also, again, like I'm not trying to like talk out of my butt. Like I want people to read this and see themselves and be like, she, she gets it. Like she's gone through this. She struggles with this.


And that's just another place where I wanted to tap into my heart's courage of this is a chamber of kept things. Just like the name implies, it's something that is like...


secretive and something that is like almost like formally secretive. It's not like the box of secrets. It's like this is an intentional space that holds a lot of darkness and is kept away from people. I mean think about Harry Potter like the Chamber of Secrets. wait that is like a that's the title that's so funny. I didn't I'm just like putting that together. Yeah like the Chamber of Secrets it's like this


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secret place in Hogwarts that has the basilisk and it's like a very formal space. It's very important. We have that chamber within ourselves and I think it becomes this big room and expands the more we hide from it. But I would like to think that with this chapter, it is a box of secrets now. It's not a whole ass chamber. But...


It's basically, I call it like my mental health chapter because I explore so many pieces of, again, like shadow that are not easy. And that again, like I hope not everyone experiences, but I believe a lot of us do. And I think we can hide those things and feel some kind of way about them and avoid them.


or we can bring love into the equation by gently exploring and being curious and naming and being like, this is what it is. This has formed within me because of this, or this has formed in me because I need this. And it's just a way that we learn about ourselves and can bring curiosity to the equation. And I think anytime we bring curiosity, we're building a bridge


to self-love because it's so hard sometimes I think to just jump to self-love if there's something that we're ashamed about or guilty about or don't like about ourselves or our journey or or mistakes that we've made or whatever it is


And I think like we again built that bridge to self-love by gathering information and by getting curious. And that's really like my intention behind this chapter is being like, hey, this is stuff that I have struggled with. And...


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I don't hate it about myself. It's not gonna take away from my deserveability of having a good life and wanting good things for myself and my goals that I want to...


achieve and whatnot, but I think if we again don't Get to that place of radical self-acceptance. We will subconsciously self-sabotage because we don't really believe that we deserve what we want Or we don't really believe that we're


capable of it. And so I think by just again shining that light, it's such a giving thing to ourselves and that's really what I do. It starts off as this chamber of kept things. Like I'm like hiding this, I'm keeping this close to chest and opening it and shining that light and allowing it to be something that while maybe dark,


there's meaning behind it and it matters and it again gives contrast to all the other beautiful things about our life and ourselves. So, cause if I didn't have that chapter in here and it was just a poetry book about like, this is how great my life is. It would just be, I think it would just be so diluted and so shallow and so fake.


I don't know, it's kind of like social media in a way where it's like, this is my highlight reel, everything's perfect in my life, and everything's like, you know, all these wonderful moments, but no one's posting themselves like throwing up from the flu or like, or, you know, just, of course there's examples of people who do heinous things for attention, but like, I think there's a lot of power in


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whether we share it or not, like looking at those parts of ourself in a way that's kind. So that's ultimately my goal with this chapter.


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Hi, Cuddly. He said, meow, meow. So that's the Chamber of Kept Things. And then we jump into my, laugh because this is another chapter for the girls. It's called Pedestal of Ghost. And this is the chapter that I think was honestly one of the hardest to write in a different way because, Cuddly, come here.


there we go. Because one of the things I think I've really struggled with for most of my life is jealousy. And logically I can, and I would say specifically jealousy in romantic relationships. I don't really feel jealous of other people. Like I really like to cheer people on in their life.


I've really struggled with possessiveness and jealousy. And I can give myself compassion and grace and understand that this comes from lot of wounding of betrayal or trauma. Because I don't think anyone's necessarily born that way. It comes from something. Jealousy, know for me, is a fear response. I've learned. this is a chapter that like...


I wouldn't say just explores jealousy. I would say it explores, I like to think my Scorpiovenus intensity and possessiveness. It's a small chapter, but it definitely has an arc of its own because it just starts off with me needing to get off my chest just feeling angry about


my my fiance having a life before me which I laugh because like I know logically it sounds silly and crazy but it just got under my skin for a while and it's like and I know again logically I know it's such a double standard because here I had a whole life before I met him too but it's like I still like break my own heart


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Perseverate or not perseverating, but I guess like brooding on stuff that like I imagine or stuff that like Has been shared with me And and it's not like I've even heard anything Positive about like his past relationships From anyone it's all been very like thank God you're here. You're the one like, you know, very very celebratory But it doesn't


Doesn't matter. still have this like I wanna annihilate them like just like this


warrior intensity of like, I need to claim and I want to clean you from your past because you're mine. And it's like, it's something that like I feel so silly saying. And it's something I again, like really had to confront in writing this book, but I knew I needed that stuff to have a place to go because we're getting married and like we're starting a whole chapter coming up and I knew I needed to let those crazy thoughts have a place to live.


And also not just the illogical possessiveness, wounded based thoughts, but also just the very real...


anger and protectiveness that I feel towards him because like when I hear about you know someone who's done him dirty in the past or like you know people who've like stressed him out or broken his heart or whatever I get so protective and even though like it happened in the past I'm still just like


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Let me fight this bitch. Like it just like gets me so angry and and I just get so protective and just want to you know throw hands and like and and that's something i've i'm glad i'm in the place of laughing now because it used to eat me up I used to feel very ashamed about that and I was just like dang am I just like so insecure, but i'm not i'm just like Am I just like so insecure? then like i've realized, you know


I just I really I love with all that I am all that I got and I where I do I think sometimes need to bring more groundedness into that with like reading into situations or like Getting mad over like stuff that really isn't that deep There there is I think so much humanness


in I would say like


sometimes the shadow side of love even and not that like possessiveness is healthy. I'm not like saying that it's something that I really have been trying to unlearn. It also still is this part of me that I think shows up with good intentions. It shows up because I love so deeply and I love my fiance with this like feral primal


intensity that is like I want to merge souls and have all of our atoms intertwine and I will find you in the next life and will track you down and we joke about that all the time and he's like you won't have to track me down because I'm not like running from you but like it's always like like till death do us part does not apply like I


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Like we are locked in for eternity and that's just how I am. And so this chapter I think explores that and explores like me going through that healing process of like releasing that anger, releasing those projections and like some of my own wounding and insecurity and also like tapping into the truth of my self-worth and what...


I bring to the relationship and how he and everything he brings to the relationship has been shaped by his own experiences. And that's like not something I need to strip away because it's like dehumanizing, but it's something that like I can have gratitude for. And it all led us to finding each other.


And I think my experiences really help me appreciate the man that he is. And I think his experiences really help him appreciate the woman that I am. And that's why I think we are just such a fated, perfect match is because these things.


have helped us in our becoming and as a couple being so aligned in like every way possible it just it's so expansive but again the light would have no meaning without the shadow and so I have to had to ironically enough in order to accept that shadow have to square up with my own shadow


So this chapter it's it's like the conversations you would have with your girlfriends of just like You know, there's that expression of like This is her like this like the picture of like your your partner's ex or whatever that you're like This is her and then you like talk shit about them or or not. I don't know


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it is, but that's I think just such a natural part of girlhood too. I think that like as women, of course, like I consider myself a girl's girl and want to support other women, but like there's just like a very primal part of me that is like, I will cheer on every girl except for them. And I'm just going to be so honest about that. I, and maybe I'll get to this point later in life where I'm like,


have more access to gratitude in that situation but they're my enemies. I never met them but they will forever be my enemies because I hate the way that they treated my man. I'm glad he's my man now like they let him be free so he could find me but I just like from what I've heard from not just my fiance but like family and friends and stuff it's just like how dare you treat my man like that?


You had gold in your hands and you were so dumb to let that go. I mean, thank you. But also like, get the fuck out. I don't know. So it's just like this petty part of me that's like, Anyways, but they're not really like enemies. But again, I'm not going to be nice to them. If I ever write into them, I'm not going to be nice. I'm not going to be like, oh, hey, girl. No.


I did not play. I'm way too possessive. I'm way too feral and primal. That is my man. Get away. Go live your life. That chapter's done. So anyways, that's just the truth. So that's that chapter. But I wanted it to also have this era of like, it's not that I like feel...


a sense of self-worth or confidence by feeling like superior to anyone is very much like,


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I mean, there's definitely like those elements a little bit, but there's also just like this acceptance of timeline and being grateful for who I am today and who he is today and how we just really are meant for each other and the life that we're creating moving forward is what matters. Hello, we're getting married. So anyways, but I have to have my


petty moments. And that's something I've accepted about myself. It wouldn't be true if I didn't include it. As much as I'm like, I don't really want people to know how crazy I am sometimes, it wouldn't be me if it weren't. And that's just the truth.


But it's fun. It's some tea. And then... So that's that chapter, Throne of Ghost. And then that's when we lead into my awakening chapter. And this was the chapter that I was not expecting to write. It just started happening because as I was working on this book and just really releasing a lot of the pain and grief...


and other things I've described so far, I really started to feel like I was approaching the other side of it and the peace that that brought me and the groundedness that that's been bringing me and the happiness and the joy and wanting to get in touch with those feelings and express them because like I said in the past it was just way easier to write when I was angry and that's when I would feel most connected to my writing expression and I didn't


want that to be the case. That's not where I want to reside. That's not the only place I want to have access to this part of me. That's very much...


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a part of me that I love, but I wanted to just really exercise this skill of writing and expressing with things that I love and with things that make me happy and foster that in my life because that's really what I want to intentionally bring forward and cultivate moving forward is this life of peace and abundance and joy and all these other elements of the Empress archetype that I am fostering within my


myself and allowing like to be a model for me moving forward. So awakening, kind of like how the name expresses is like kind of like a spiritual awakening that I went through in writing this book and learning so much about just the value of presence and the value of our attention and the energy that we have and where it goes and what we spend it on. And also just


celebrating and finding beauty in the ordinary and in our environment. And so there's a lot of celebration of nature. There's so much just gratitude for just the earth and what that brings me and our human connection to nature and how we are nature. It's not nature and us. It's like we are a part of nature. And just the celebration and


exploration of life and how we can miss it if our faces are buried in a screen and and also just like getting reconnected to a sense of joy after being in a whole realm and learning


what joy is in many ways, like for the first time. And just like this purity of joy and this peace that isn't fleeting, but making it a lifestyle and how that evolves and changes me over time as it becomes less and less like this thing that I'm imagining for myself or experiencing in brief moments, but it's becoming more and more what is and how things are and who I am too. And so that chapter just again, like emerged


Savannah Rose (01:27:28.72)

as I wrote it in March like some last month it just was the thing that emerged as I was working through this process and again feeling that space within me open up where I wasn't just holding on to this stuff anymore but new things could start to flow through me and


And it was just such an awakening experience and very invigorating and also very peaceful and grounding. So that's my awakening chapter. And then it goes into my devotion chapter, which is my chapter devoted to my fiance, Corey, and just a celebration of our love and how it's developed over time. and


And just like all these special moments that I wanted to capture and preserve just throughout our relationship. so I was writing these poems.


from our genesis basically. Cause when we met, like he just, he just set me on fire and I just felt so connected to my vitality. And I mean, I was already working on that before him, but again, being with a supportive partner who fosters that and encourages that, it just grows. And we definitely feed off of each other. And it's just so cool to experience like just this.


radiant.


Savannah Rose (01:28:59.054)

Passion not just for for him but just like the life that we have together and that we're building together Hence alchemy and passion so passion just because I feel like passion to me is When you're the most alive and when there's so much vitality and so much is flowing through you and it just feels so effortless and delicious and


again alive because not everything that's like that makes you feel alive is is calm or easy. I mean certainly those are very important parts of our relationship is how effortless it feels and we're just such an authentic match or like organic match but also like how alive we feel because we challenge each other and I know he really helps me get grounded and like make a lot of what I


want for myself like material and real and like help he really helps guide me on like how I can take action steps and and supports me


and helps me with my big feelings because as y'all know, especially by now, I got a lot of big feelings. so, and with that, just like how we have so many opportunities to do things together and how that just feels alive and then, you know, moving forward, like in our marriage coming up soon and just how that's like a whole threshold that we'll be crossing, just like how that makes me so excited.


and just look happy and grateful and just like that's alive. You know what life is about? It's just sharing life with who you love.


Savannah Rose (01:30:52.022)

and just, and then just like the fact that we'll, you know, down the road, like create a life together and like grow a family. It's like, that's passion, you know, like, like that's, to me, that's passion. That is like, when it's like connected to your, your meaning and your, like your,


like your purpose and like why you're here on earth is to experience this. Like this is what makes everything worth it, you know? just, I don't know, of course, what the future holds, but I just, know it's going to be good. And I know like together, like we are such a great match and there's just so much true.


love not just like oh I love how this person makes me feel or I love you know what is um like provided or whatever it is it's like true like I love who this person is their soul how they show up how they accept me and love me for who I am how they're they're so um I mean he's just so


considerate and steadfast and gentle and but it gets to like this force of a person and it's just like such a We're so opposite in some ways and so identical in some ways. It's just really funny


But that's, mean, that's my passion chapter. And so there's just so many like moments that I wanted to celebrate from the very beginning and just our overall evolution as a couple. And there's also like a lot of spicy stuff in it too. So there's gonna be some pages I like tell my mom, like, don't read this page, don't read this page because it will scar you for life. Because some of them, like I said, I am feral, I am primal for my man.


Savannah Rose (01:33:08.112)

let that be known to and I get very explicit in some of those poems as well because I love it and that's just how I wanted to express myself and like I have so much desire and yearning and um


just crave him in so many different ways like on the physical of course but the emotional and the spiritual and it's just that all deserves to exist and I think that that's ultimately like what I wanted to manifest and like my dream partner is someone that like is safe and steadfast and stable and present and also exciting and


spicy and just is intoxicating in so many ways. But then also like, it's not like totally raunchy. Like I said, there's like such an evolution and there's also just like the celebration of our devotion and just the beauty that comes with choosing someone and sharing and creating a life together. that's just, and now I feel like


I have a true understanding both logically and in an embodied way of what love really is and how that really feels and how that really resonates and shows up on a daily basis. And it's not just like...


like what i was explaining like in my first book like this is what i think love is and like i love this person and like i think love is like real cute and it's all like happy and stuff it's like yeah that's really nice but like real love is


Savannah Rose (01:34:59.406)

it is through, I mean, as they say, like for better or for worse, like with the vows, it's like, it's someone who's there and who you get to know on a very deep, intimate level and who sometimes helps you like love yourself more in some ways. Not that like a partner, like that's sole purpose is to like...


feel lovable, but like there's parts of myself that I've been working through recently that like have been really hard to look at or to accept and having someone and having my fiance just hold those things and show like so much tenderness around them, it's allowed me to do the same because I was never taught how to do that or I was never...


like giving myself permission to do that. So I think that's just one of the really beautiful things like that our relationship and the devotion like the, because I feel like devotion is the word I just wanted to use because devotion is like a conscious thing. It's a committed thing. It is an action based thing. Cause people can say they love you and not actually like demonstrate it obviously.


fact that it's such a thing that is lived and felt and experienced day in and day out is so special and I feel like the word special doesn't even do it justice so but that's just what I wanted to celebrate in this chapter and I'm just so grateful again that everything you know


in the beginning of this book has led to this place and that this is what I'm taking with me moving forward. And then lastly, the final chapter is the empress chapter because I wanted to just really dedicate the final chapter to this reflection on myself and my growth and my...


Savannah Rose (01:37:10.858)

empowerment and what I want to cultivate moving forward and also share with the reader how they can do that themselves too. I wanted it to be something that was very clear like hey I'm giving this to you take what you want but ultimately this is something that I want to not like selfishly just like keep in my journal but I want this to be something that like is medicine for me and medicine for whoever decides to read it.


And also just in dedicating it to this Empress archetype, I wanted to just show my appreciation for femininity and for womanhood and for, and just celebrate womanhood and our bodies and our cycles and our connection to nature and our connection to the divine and spirituality. It just seems very uniquely feminine.


components that we get to have as women that are not always celebrated, but they deserve to be. And like, example, just with like our menstrual cycle, I have like multiple pieces in this book that...


are celebrating our cycle and advocating for our body and our natural rhythms and how our body in history has been something that hasn't always been ours and has been like


property or that has been something that we have to keep quiet about, not talking about our menstrual cycle or something that's dirty or something that is inconvenient or whatever it is. I wanted to really expose that and also give the path forward. Because I think that's something that's very important and something I've noticed in our day and age today is there's so much chatter about what's wrong, not enough chatter about what's right.


Savannah Rose (01:39:11.94)

And so that's something I wanted to be constructive about in this book and intentional about is not just exposing like, this is what's messed up, because yeah, that's important to voice, but also like, where do we go from here? And I really wanted to be a leader in that and give...


deep meaning and emotion as this tether and this thread pulling us all forward in a way that is empowering and helps others connect to their sovereignty and their self-worth and their body. And how when we take care of our body, especially as women, we are honoring ourselves, we are connecting to our worth, we are so much more magnetic, and the world


is just I believe the world is just a better place when that's happening because we're not competing with other people we're not just becoming slaves to capitalism we're not just succumbing to patriarchy you know all those systems that are so outdated I wanted to show that there is a path forward that is balanced and that honors our femininity and the masculinity you know it's not like either or but how


These can all coexist at the same time. So that is the final chapter. And there's some little surprises sprinkled in it as well. I didn't want to give it all away, but that has been.


That's the arc of this baby here. again, what a journey it's been. Honestly, like I was describing to y'all how I felt like kind of depressed these past couple days. I feel a lot better now just talking about it. I think I honestly just really needed this container to share and cry and release and just share what's on my heart and what this project has meant to me and what I just really hope it provides you


Savannah Rose (01:41:15.156)

anyone who decides to read it and how I really wanted to thread love throughout the whole thing. Love for ourselves, love for each other, love for the collective, love for the darkness, for the past, for the present, the future, like all of it. I wanted it to be this celebration of life and that's ultimately like...


what it's gonna be. mean, it's yeah, it's like it's like my journey and stuff, but I really hope people can just again see themselves in it, gain something from it. And I just really hope it connects people to each other and helps us all love ourselves a little bit more because I think if we can all love ourselves a little bit more, we will have more peace in this world. my goodness. But I think that's where


I will end this episode, because I could keep talking about it forever. Maybe I'll do a part two at some point with more like specific questions. But I just wanted to, again, share what's on my heart, share the things that have shaped this book, my journey writing it, and how it's transformed me, and how I'm a new version of me because of it. And I can't wait to keep, excuse me, exploring.


this version of me and because I know like the journey doesn't just stop with this book's release it's I think as it


starts to become digested throughout society and through other people's reading of it, that's going to also be a journey in and of itself. And I'm just really excited to see like what happens and what my words are able to do for the collective and also just where my journey goes from here. So I'm really grateful that you get to be a part of this journey with me. Thank you for being here. If you made it all the way to end of this video, thank you for listening. I know this is


Savannah Rose (01:43:15.32)

really long one, but I am just so again grateful for this space for you, your attention, your presence with me.


And I'm just really excited to hear how this book shapes you, like what you take from it. And I just hope it brings you peace and empowerment and just gives you a new perspective on life and maybe some things that needed some medicine and also that just brings you comfort. So thank you for tuning in to this episode today and for just again being on this journey with me. This is the Eclipse of


I'm your hostess Savannah Rose. Please feel free to subscribe, follow, you know, if you want to stay in touch with this process and this journey. But thank you again for tuning in today and I wish you all the best and bye for now.

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