Podcast Episode: Escaping the 9-5 Corporate Matrix - Celebrating 2 Years!
- Savannah Rose Johnson, BA, CLC, RTT.P
- May 4
- 28 min read
In this episode of the Eclipse Evolution podcast, Savannah Rose reflects on her two-year journey since leaving the corporate world to pursue her passions. She discusses the challenges of burnout, the toxic dynamics of corporate culture, and the importance of self-worth in manifesting one's dreams. Savannah shares her experiences with corporate Stockholm syndrome, the healing process, and the liberation of living authentically. She emphasizes the significance of believing in oneself and advocating for fair compensation and work-life balance.
Below is the companion video, timestamps, full transcript, and also available streaming platforms.
Thanks for listening!
Podcast Streaming Platforms:
Companion Video:
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction and Journey Reflection
02:51 Leaving the Corporate World
05:55 Experiencing Corporate Stockholm Syndrome
11:46 The Impact of Stress and Burnout
17:56 Resignation and Aftermath
24:03 Embracing Freedom and Self-Discovery
30:08 Advocating for Self-Worth
36:02 Living Authentically and Creating Abundance
42:09 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Transcript:
Savannah Rose (00:01)
Hello and welcome to the Eclipse Evolution podcast. I'm your host, Savannah Rose. Thank you so much for joining me today, for spending your time with me, and for all your support along the way as you join me here on my journey. And I just hope that what I share with you today can just give you insights to reflect on, can inspire you on your path, and just help you feel more connected.
So today's episode, I'm very excited to share with you about my journey and how I've now hit two years since leaving the corporate world and launching full time into my Eclipse Evolution business, whether it's through my coaching clients or through my publications, this podcast, as well as my modeling career. So what a wild...
two years it has been and I wanted to do this episode today to not only reflect on this milestone of two years but also just to help myself process this experience. By the way you might hear I have birds now. I have two little parakeets and they're very chatty so you might hear them from time to time. ⁓
goodness I wasn't expecting to get birds but they were really needing a home and so I rescued them and now here we are so but anyways ⁓ yeah I just I felt like I really needed this space in this platform as it's been such a avenue and catalyst for me and my own whether it's just healing or processing ⁓ I just needed this space to reflect but also I really hope that you listen to this and
you are able to grasp that when it comes down to living your dreams and living your life how you want and manifesting what you want and desire for yourself that it really does just begin with belief in yourself and ultimately like having an anchor to your self-worth because a lot of the reasons why I left the corporate world was that I mean
Yes, it has its pros ⁓ and leaving the corporate world might not be for everyone ⁓ but I think for myself and a lot of people out there and increasingly so it's just not a sustainable lifestyle for our nervous system ⁓ especially as a woman having ⁓ the monthly energy hormone cycle that we do doing the nine to five
And honestly, it was more than nine to five a lot of times. Like it was sometimes 80 hour weeks. Like it was just insane. That being said, like it was all working so hard for someone else's dream. And so someone else could have like real monetary success. And I've just found myself in this place of wearing so many hats.
and my job description was just absolutely exponentially growing and had been growing in my pay. Just bottom line was not balancing out to the amount of work that I was doing. Because not only did I have my clinical caseload of about 15 to 20 clients per week, ⁓ which 20 clients per week was considered full time, not only was I doing like a full
part-time to full-time job with just my client caseload. ⁓ But I was also the ⁓ director of marketing. And I say director even though I wasn't officially awarded that title as kind of like one of those subtle corporate power moves ⁓ and arguably microaggressions in my opinion. ⁓ That's what I was doing. I was directing marketing. I was for a long time directing HR.
I was for a long time directing ⁓ the operations for insurance credentialing and for ⁓ a lot of clinical coordination, ⁓ as well as developer and manager of a couple different ⁓ independent business units within the practice as well. ⁓ In charge of operations, in charge of reception of some divisions. ⁓
as well as business development and going out and ⁓ networking. ⁓
I know, right? The parakeets are like, yeah, that's crazy. It's like even just trying to recall all the stuff that I was doing, I just sit here almost in like ⁓ disbelief in a way, even though it was my life and my reality for several years. ⁓ It's just wild to me. Like how much was on my plate and how I just felt like I
almost like wasn't still doing enough. And I was still waiting for like that compensation to make sense or like waiting for my bonus to make sense to how much I was doing. And just like with the amount of like corporate Stockholm syndrome that I was experiencing and like that brainwashing in the corporate matrix with like the, like we're a family and like, ⁓ like
We're a team and just like with how much like the personal boundaries were like non-existent sometimes in that space. It was just like extremely unhealthy and predatory. Just in all honesty with like how, and me being a person in my early twenties with like barely any job experience, like I just didn't know any better. And I think also given that the
work was not just with like, like with my superiors, not just being like super experienced and like twice my age, if not more. and like been around the block in the business world had NBAs or psychology degrees and therapists themselves. It was like wild to me. ⁓ how looking back, like so much of those skills were
blended in with the, I would say the Stockholm syndrome that I was experiencing, because it's almost as if that particular skill and training of knowing people's psychologies, knowing how to identify their weaknesses, or maybe how much, I know at that time in my life, I needed a lot of validation, and I didn't have a super strong sense of self.
⁓ or like I was very extrinsically motivated and how I feel like those things were really used to exploit me because yes, maybe I wasn't ⁓ paid competitively or just ⁓ fairly for lack of better words. Again, because my job description was like exponential and my roles were exponential. Was I getting paid the amount of equivalent to how much work I was doing? No.
Was I getting paid the amount of like the number of roles I was doing? No. ⁓ That's just the fact of the matter. I was doing multiple people's jobs but not receiving multiple people's salaries. Nor was I even getting health insurance. So that being said, it was just really messed up. But again, I didn't know any better. And I didn't really know my own worth, to be honest. Like I was definitely still stuck in that cycle of
Codependency and my codependent recovery, which I know I've shared in this podcast several times more in relation to like romantic relationships But the codependency was showing up in this corporate Stockholm syndrome and with that people-pleasing tendency and that tendency to deny my own needs and to deny my sense of self-worth or to make other people my higher power I mean for several years my bosses
were my higher power. What they said, what they thought of me, ⁓ what they said, whether it positive or negative, that stuck with me and sunk into my core and very much would trigger survival, ⁓ like a survival instinct in me as well. Like if I was getting in trouble for something, which didn't happen often because I kicked ass at what I did, but like, God forbid I stood up for myself or had an off moment. ⁓
the reformation would just cut me so deep emotionally ⁓ because I hadn't really learned how to set those boundaries yet or even really learned how to question what was true or not. And my gut told me there was a lot of stuff that was messed up and a lot of stuff that wasn't ⁓ sitting right with me. ⁓ But my skill of overriding at that moment in time and
ignoring the signs was stronger than the skill of exercising my boundaries and and ingrain in my sense of self-worth. So that's just some context for you. ⁓ And so really what kind of came down to it was ⁓ the abusive romantic relationship that I was in coupled with the abusive work relationship that I was in. I just got to this point of like extreme
burnout and extreme stress sickness ⁓ and just like the mind games that I've still been working on unlearning even with two years now of freedom ⁓ the mind games I've had to still unlearn like that deep programming that deep conditioning ⁓ it's just wild to me how much like that stuff was just ruling my life like not feeling like I could
Take a vacation or if I did take a day off for my own like wellness or recovery or vacation or whatever the case may be like the guilt that just impending doom and guilt of Like not being at the office or knowing that I was being shit-talked behind my back for having taken that day off and just like the just the bullshit man and just like the mind games dude, that's why I say
Stockholm syndrome because it very much was still this like need to please ⁓ in order to feel safe in that environment and like included in like part of that weird twisted family dynamic and like how Yeah, just like how you would witness people who like weren't drinking the Kool-Aid and weren't buying into the matrix and having a healthy work-life balance
just the amount of shit talking that would go on about them and how they were instantly labeled as like not passionate or not committed or weird or whatever the case may be. And it was just not true. And it was just so toxic and bizarre and just like emotionally incestual and just like weird. So, and traumatic. And that's why like I got to this point of just being like absolutely no peace at my home.
and then absolutely no peace and then the workplace and those were like the two places I spent my time and then just coming down with this just horrid stress sickness of heart palpitations and just unyielding anxiety to the point where I lost like 30 pounds and my hair was falling out and just waking up with like a splotch on my chest that then soon turned to
all over head to toe blisters and hives and stress psoriasis and it was just absolutely like the biggest wake up call of like
Couldn't even feel like I could take care of myself and manage the stress Anymore at that point and like I Just got to this point of like I'm too young to be dealing with this like this is something that will kill me if I let it because stress is a real deal and like having family history of like early death and heart disease and like so like in their 40s like
I can't play around with that shit and like I at the end of the day like it wasn't my dream to be there forever and it was not my burden to bear and it was just ⁓ especially when I just started to feel less and less appreciated and any conversation I would have advocating for my ⁓ compensation would be met with such
resistance and gaslighting and microaggression and just some full blown insanity dude like oh my god and so I eventually like just came to peace with the fact that I needed to leave in January of 2023 my resignation meeting I was still kind of in this place of like
afraid to even like be real about why I was leaving because I was so afraid of like the backlash from my superiors at that time and I just remember my resignation meeting ⁓
being like something that I still just have a hard time even recalling because it was like so traumatic and bizarre ⁓ and like
and I remember processing it with a trusted colleague after the fact and being like Just talking about how weird it was and how he just straight-up validated like yeah, that was traumatic like that was really Not okay what they said and just like I remember like almost like being in this out-of-body experience in that meeting and like
Pieces of memory would come to me down the road, which is like, you know classic trauma response and stress response Yeah, pieces would come back to me and I would just be like damn did they really Say that to me and even to this day I still every now and again have nightmares of that place and the people there It's funny cuz they'll be kind of like lucid dreams and I'll be like why the fuck am I here like get me out of here
and then I'll like come to you or whatever. But yeah, I still have nightmares of that place. And it's just like wild. Just like how manipulative to the very end they were with like me speaking my truth like to the rest of the team about like why I was leaving. And I had to basically say I was leaving due to health issues, which was true. They were burnout related. And some people can see through that and could identify that. And when I talked to them,
you know, a few months later they were like, yeah, it was very clear that you were like burnt out as hell. And I'm like, okay. ⁓ But some people I think just because they were still drinking the Kool-Aid or whatever the case may be, like, ⁓ you know, never got the true story. But I think once I left from what I've been told, like the energy really shifted because I was carrying so much of that place on my back. And, ⁓ you know, they...
get what they get and it is what it is. ⁓ But yeah, just so all that to say, like I share my story because like I just want people to know that corporate Stockholm syndrome is real. It's a real thing and you can be stuck in this like weird bubble of like these people being awful to you and great to you at the same time. Like in the personal, I say the personal boundaries were just so blurred because like my boss like
paid for my movers when I was moving and hosted my graduation party at his house. And we would have these cute little leadership retreats where we'd all be in our jammies and talking. And we would do these ketamine trainings together and be literally tripping on psychedelics together, all for clinical reasons, of course. But it was just like...
to be that emotionally vulnerable with your employers and with people who really, like, at the end of the day would gut you like a fish when it came down to it, like, it's just fucked up, dude. Like, it's just not, that's just not how stuff is supposed to be. and then, so because you would have, I say you, me, because I would have, and a lot of people, honestly, these like very weird, like,
blended ⁓ identity driven ⁓ connections to like the roles that we were in and like it was so ego focused and like the attachment was so real and like just you name it. It was just like this cesspool of like ⁓ just, don't know like.
It was like a cult. I don't know how else to put it, but it was just like a cult where it was like you're believing this like weird ideology and having these like very charismatic people like leading you and like acting two-faced as you can possibly be to like get information from you and that's not just like with the superiors but just the other people on the leadership team as well. They'd be one way to you just to get you to do something.
And it was just like fake at the end of the day and like that was really heartbreaking for me when I left that place because I just feel like I did so much either goodness of my heart or like out of the goodness of these friendships quote friendships that I had with people and then to just be like fucking like leper no offense to lepers, but like treated like like a Excommunicated from this place because I wasn't drinking the Kool-Aid anymore was just like whoa
very sobering of like, wow, okay. And not only that, like, but to have people like just live to shit talk and to stay up to date. And I bet you some of them are probably even watching and listening to this right now. ⁓ They just love to stay up to date with what I got going on just so they can continue to talk shit and talk about it amongst themselves at the office because they have nothing better to do, I guess. I don't know.
I must just be a very interesting person, and I mean I am, but it's just like, my god, it has been two years, why are y'all still talking about me? What the hell? So anyways, all that to say, if you're in a job that is not ⁓ compensating you fairly, I don't care if you are best friends with the CEO, anyone who truly cares about you is gonna want you to receive what you deserve.
employers can be friendly at the end of the day and even very personable, but at the end of the day, they're taking care of their business. that is going to be with or without you. And if you become a liability or if you are asking for quote too much when really you're just looking for fair compensation, you really need to get out of there. And I'm not really one to tell people what to do, but take it from me.
Get out! Get out because it's one of the best gifts I ever gave myself and the amount of healing I've had to do since leaving that place, fixing my mentality and truly connecting with my sense of self and my identity and reconnecting with parts of myself, I had to shut down or hide because they were not approved of in that workplace. Letting it all out has been...
just so liberating and getting to live my life honoring myself and run my business honoring myself is just something that like is just truly like I'm just like so grateful for like my god I'm so grateful for and it's like I was talking with my partner
And my bestie about this where I'm like, damn, like two years is a long time to be out here, like doing my own thing. And I just, feel like it's just now really sinking in because I had so much healing to do just because that was consuming me. And then like, I was of course like going through like major life changes and like, you know, a few months after I left and left that workplace and
was full time in my job or like in my career now, like that I'm self employed and stuff. Like, I mean, shortly after that is when I was going through like really major issues, with my like ex at that time. And then, you know, going through that whole breakup and that super huge trauma, which you can hear about my other episodes. and then all of last year was like,
me still just really coming into my power and like learning like what do I want to do like who am I and like just learning how to hold myself and and have fun again and like not feel guilty for resting and not feeling guilty for taking vacation or like not making work my whole life and ⁓ it's just like ⁓
really remarkable and then like actually starting like my own creative projects like my magazine and like ⁓ getting back into modeling like exploring art as a creative not just a creative outlet but like a career option and like modeling as a career option and getting into music and like all kinds of other avenues like
It's just amazing and I just think that like so much of my year last year was like just consumed with healing, which I'm grateful for. But I was reflecting on that. I was like, I wouldn't have been able to go through all that healing and done all the things that I got to do last year.
if I were in a fucking nine to five. Like I just wouldn't have been able to do that and like actually honor my feelings and not overwrite them anymore. But like if I needed a day and this still happens to me, like if I just need a day to like.
just listen to my spirit and be outside and pull tarot cards and journal and cry and do yoga and eat food. Like I give that to myself and I'm still learning to not feel bad about that of like, this is what I need to do. I don't want to operate from this place of like, I got to do my to-do list and like I'll rest when my to-do list is over. Like, no, like that is the old way of being. It's about...
What do I want for myself? Like this life of peace and love and abundance and how like I'm so productive when I'm happy and nourished and taking care of myself and ⁓ I'm just so much more potent as a professional and as a coach and as a healer and as a model when like I am-
my own rhythms and not forcing myself to like do more all the time and it just really had to come down to like knowing myself and loving myself and knowing my worth of like
this is what I deserve and breaking through the imposter syndrome or breaking through the bullying that I would experience at my former workplace of like, well this person deserves to make this much money because of XYZ even though I was doing practically the exact same thing if not more stuff. ⁓
because of whatever egotistical bullshit they were, like power trip they were on, ⁓ in order to like feel justified saying that kind of stuff to me. I believed it at that time. I believed it and I let it tear me down and I let it keep me small because that's how they stayed in power over me. But unlearning all that shit and being like that's...
Not okay and not even true and like I'm very skilled at what I do and like all my clients came with me when I left that place and I still see All my clients practically like some people we've graduated out and they like are good to go but I still see my very first like the very first client I ever had I still see and like I barely have any new intakes because my retention is so good because
I'm really good at what I do and I am able to do it from a place of authenticity and a place of having a full cup and a place of walking the walk and It's just such an honor Yeah, so now it's like really starting to sink in of like my gosh like I'm Really like doing I'm like really doing it and it's like and I'm like really
proud of myself because it's like not been easy. Don't get me wrong. Like I love what I do so much, like I, and this is what I wanted to share with you too. Like it does get hard sometimes. Like you do have to be your number one fan and your biggest motivator and hold yourself accountable. But you can do that with gentleness and you can do that with compassion and grace rather than like getting down on yourself for not doing something or for making a mistake.
like being gentle on yourself and that just allows you to keep building rather than like tear yourself down and moving from that place of anxiety or fear of like I gotta do this or else like that's just not how you have to operate in this world anymore it's just not and it's like
It's just such a relief to do stuff just because you enjoy it. ⁓ another thing I wanted to mention too is just how, again, self-worth is such a anchor for breaking out of that corporate matrix because there's just such bullshit, this bullshit narrative of this is like...
I even know what it is, like what you call it, but like I see this with people I know who are still in the corporate world who are like, they came in at this rate and maybe because they didn't know they could ask for more, they just stay in that that range of pay even though other people out here are getting paid exponentially more or they're doing exponentially more. It's like just this weird just conservative bullshit
abusive, exploitive way to just tear down and keep people obedient and in this non-expansive just place in their career where they just have to accept it and just take it and swallow it because that's what
the corporate people will benefit from. That's just it. It's just like that's what will benefit the company rather than paying people a living wage or what they're worth or what accounts for inflation or what allows them to have work-life balance or whatever the case may be like they're too many. ⁓
do any businesses are just more than happy to not do that. And like I understand businesses need to make a profit. Yes, sure. But like we cannot have profit over people. just like, it's just all such bullshit now at the end of the day because like I remember like
there was just such a huge resistance to me getting paid more money. And it was like, should be grateful for what you're getting paid because it's like a lot for someone your age, which first of all, that's like sex or ageist as hell. But second of all, there's also a lot of sexism going on because someone who was in my previous role, who was a man, um,
and who was doing significantly less than what I was doing was in fact getting paid more than me. ⁓ And so it's just like crazy knowing that like...
because I was this 20-something year old girl who was still on her dad's health insurance, we can get away with paying her less. It was literally about like, what can we get away with? And because I didn't know any better, ⁓ or I didn't know that I was worth more or that I could advocate for my worth or whatever was stopping me at that moment in time, like, I just accepted it. And it was just...
It was just like really heartbreaking to know again like these people who would say how much they valued you and would give you little gifts on your desk or little flowers now and again would like expect that to be enough ⁓ when it was just manipulation tactics to like make you have this ⁓ guise of ⁓
of appreciation and really if your employer truly appreciates you, they will pay you what you are worth, period. That's the only true act of appreciation in a transaction of work and salary is money.
It's not flowers, it's not like taking you out to dinner, it's not like stupid bullshit bonuses that really like make up for how much they should be paying you. No. Like your base pay should equal what you are doing. And at the end of the day when I had my resignation meeting and was advocating for just the fact of the matter was like...
this is what I'm doing and my pay has not increased. This is what my job description is and my pay has not increased. Like I was just going back to the brass tacks and they were trying to run me over and bulldoze me and and gaslight me and literally just bringing up all kinds of crazy nonsense to just scare me. It was just scare tactics and intimidation tactics. I just stayed so anchored in that brass tacks of like this. I'm not getting paid for what I'm doing.
Like, I'm just not. And I'm not staying here anymore. ⁓ That's when they just gave in. And we're like, okay, we'll wish you all the best. AKA, we can't control you anymore, so we don't want you anymore. And it was just so eye-opening. And it's just so funny, because again, with how much they still keep tabs on me, it just blows my mind, because I'm just like...
I don't know. It's like are you like mad that I'm happy? Are you like mad that I'm successful like on my own? Like I just don't get it. But anyways all that to say like you just really got to know your worth and really got to look at the reality and people will sweet talk you or they will bully you or they will try to distract you or they will like um Whether it's trying to distract you with shiny things or trying to distract you with fear like whatever it is like
That shit, no, like just, ugh, I don't even know what to say. Just like, why is that even like a thing? And it's not just where I used to work. Like I hear about this happening in so many places of work and I'm like, why is this a normal thing? Why is this like something that is taught in human resources? Like.
Like people will say like, that's a very human resources response, aka not taking any accountability because they're trying to avoid a lawsuit, like just dehumanizing. It's so dehumanizing. Anyways, that's my rant. That's my rant. And it's like...
And even now, two years later, I just, it's taking me so long to feel safe and speaking my truth and validated and speaking my truth. And I just like love that I get to help people with this now of like, you don't have to accept that bullshit. You don't have to accept it. Like, no, no more, no more. You're worth so much more than that. And like, you deserve to go where you are appreciated and seen and valued and paid fairly.
and like you have room to grow and you can have work-life balance you are not asking too much if that is what you want that should be the bare minimum period so ⁓ it gets me hot but anyways yeah two years of being free of that shit god bless all
And it's like, I feel like I'm just now kind of getting to this whole new level of like seeing myself and being like, wow, I'm like really living my best life. Again, like of course I still have moments where like I make mistakes or like stuff that stresses me out or like stuff I have to like really be diligent about, whether it's like budgeting or, or ⁓ like.
making my own schedule and staying committed to things or trying to think about what do have to do. So I'm myself accountable, but again, doing that with grace, doing that with compassion, not stretching myself too thin, not being a bad boss to myself, giving myself work-life balance and unlearning all the ways of conditioning. ⁓
So I'm just so grateful for that. I'm like, I look at my life now and I'm like, wow, I'm like so content and so peaceful and like just so grateful. like, and I have like such a phenomenal partner who like, he is so supportive of me and like helps me with so much. Like he started making my thumbnails for my videos and like just.
And he's like, redesigned my logo, like all these kind of things. Like just, it's so amazing. Like what you will manifest when you believe that you deserve to have what you want.
And again, no one's gonna make you believe that. People can help you and people can help reflect back to you how awesome you are, but you have to really know that you deserve what it is that you are manifesting. You deserve to ask for it. You deserve to receive it. And...
I just hope that whatever your dream is, whether you want to be an artist or have your own business or just work somewhere that's like more aligned with your values or that like you're moving into a role that like is more fulfilling for you or whatever it is, like just know that you you can do it even if it's not super clear how like literally just one step at a time. Let one step one day inform you of your next and that's something
I've had to really really learn and I'm still learning to embrace the times like of the not knowing Every step I think that's one of the ways of like moving out of that programming of like someone telling you what to do all the time and like having that job description or those roles dictated for you or not roles dictated but like ⁓
like your tasks, like dictated for you and having like that predictability or that like consistency or that like every two weeks you get a paycheck kind of thing like those kind of things they keep us addicted to comfort and they keep us I think complacent sometimes or even scared to take a chance for ourselves and there's moments where I've had to ask for help and I've had to like really get tight on my budget and just mindful of my spending
But I would not trade an ounce of the stress that I experience nowadays for what I used to go through. Like, my god, I would not trade it for the world. And that's what I have to remind myself. And I have these moments where I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to do with this stress. I literally just have to take care of myself and love myself.
Ground myself and then I'm like, wow I kind of like love this still like I like will take this dress any day and I will figure it out and I will I know what to do and I will just do one step at a time one day at a time and and eventually like, know that the lows will become highs again and I'm chillin and I'm vibing and I'm floating so it's like That's just I think where we have to again have like that radical trust in ourselves and in the universe and that love for ourselves
and not outsourcing that for like a false sense of safety. Just like waiting on like someone else to take care of us like sometimes we just have to like strap on our boots and do that shit and like...
Honestly, like I'm so grateful because like I knew when I was doing all and that's what I remind myself like I knew when I was doing all that shit 80 hours a week 60 hours a week 40 hours a week like whatever it was like Working doing all these different roles. Do I ever want to go back to that level of work and stress? No, but I know I'm capable of so much if I could do all that stuff
I'm like, I think I can be a one woman show. I think I can schedule out my content. I think I can do this. I think I can get outside my comfort zone, try something new, and just really again advocate for my worth. Like when I do have new clients come my way, I don't believe those old narratives that were like told to me from my like former boss of like, well, you're a life coach, so you don't need to charge more than this because like, or you're young, so you don't need
to charge more than this. I'm like, fuck that. I'm good at what I do and I'm living proof of it because I practice what I preach. So I will be charging 115 hour. Okay. And of course, like I'll be flexible with people if like they have financial need. I'm not like a stone cold like person, but like I do advocate for my worth and I don't let someone else tell me what that is. And I have many clients that
do not bat an eye at that either. And they're like, yep, cool, great, love it. Could not see my life without you. And that's to me the greatest compliment is when I'm able to help people and nourish people and get them to believe in themselves and see their worth too and act from that place and make changes in their life based off of that.
And because my journey and my interest and my passions don't have to be yours, but I mean, if they aren't cool, let's connect. like if if you are into totally different stuff than me, that's Love that. The perfectly fine. And like you deserve to go after those things. Like my my journey is not a one size fits all, but you can pull from it and.
Again, just go back to that anchor of like you are worth receiving what it is that you want. You don't have to wait to be fully ready for that either. I certainly was not like quote fully ready. I just knew I could not stay in the state that I was in. I was literally dying. was, my body was literally falling apart and I was so unhealthy and I just vowed to myself and I could not ever go back to that.
Um, like no job was worth that and no people who said they cared about me would allow that to happen either. So good friends. Um, so yeah. And I was like 25, 26 when I decided to do that and I'll be 28 this fall. And, um, so all that to say like,
you're not too young to live your dreams and to do your own thing. And you're not too late to do it either. Like, do not let this whole like, ⁓ like I've already got like a full career or I have a mortgage or kids. Like, I understand we have commitments. I definitely have commitments too. Like I got rent to pay. I got all these fur babies I gotta take care of. Like I got, I have real bills. And I always seem to find a way to figure it out and to make it work.
and to strategize and to problem solve and I just get more and more and more into a flow and
It's just such a blessing to see how the universe wants you to succeed and it will align things for you. Even if like not everything has to be in your control, even if it seems like there's nothing there, something will come through. And again, you just have to believe that you deserve it and ask for help if you need it.
Have fun too. Like not everything has to be like stressing until you figure out the solution. Sometimes figuring out the solution is putting down the problem and then shaking your ass and having fun and like getting outside and like goofing off and like dancing and just remembering how much is available to you. Like so much joy is available to you. So much community is available to you. So much pleasure is available to you and not everything has to be like
problem after problem or stressor after stressor because if that's all we focus on, that's all our life is. Like there's so much more to life than those things and it's all gonna work out, I promise. So I just hope that you have listened today and really heard this message of...
knowing that you are your biggest advocate, your biggest fan, your biggest supporter, and the one that's going to be cheering for you in those moments that are challenging. And of course you have other people who are there to support you too hopefully and you can continue to grow that community but at the end of the day it's about your relationship with yourself and knowing that you're worth what it is that you want for yourself and that you can make it happen even if it's not totally clear how.
It's okay to just be figuring it out. Trust me, I'm still figuring stuff out, but I'm doing all right. And I'm really happy with my life. And just so grateful for the flexibility and the balance and the peace and the joy available. And that can be yours too. You can, you can create that for yourself and not have to go settle for making someone else rich or making someone else successful or accepting anything less than what you deserve. Like you know, no. ⁓
That is so in the past. This is the new paradigm. We're making it happen together. You don't have to...do so much. That's something I've really learned. It's like I don't have to do all the time. I can just be as well and receive and that's why I say like sometimes those moments aren't about pushing and stressing yourself out and wearing yourself in. Sometimes like the best way to get things done is to not do anything and to rest and to recharge and then you have a new perspective. The solution comes to you. You receive something that maybe you didn't notice before because you were stressed out. It's just like, wow, the doing and the being can coexist. And there's so much abundance that's available to you when you allow yourself to live in that balanced state and allow yourself to receive as well as create what you want. So thank you.
Thank you for being on this journey with me. It's just been like amazing. I created this podcast a couple months after I made the decision to leave and I didn't actually leave. I made the decision in January. I didn't actually leave until May 5th.
⁓ because I was way too generous as I was in that moment in time. I was like, yeah, I'll train the next person and I'll take a super long time to phase out and help you guys not struggle when I'm gone. I was way too, put in your two weeks and get out. You don't have to help them figure it all out. That's their problem. If they don't have their shit together, that is their problem. So if I could do one thing over, I would have gotten out of there a lot faster, but well, this is what it is. And here we are. So yeah, I made my podcast in March.
⁓ So a couple months after I made that decision and this podcast has just been my little friend. Like this community has been like my friends as I've been navigating this whole life and all the changes since then. So thank you so much for listening and please if you want to stay connected feel free to subscribe or like or follow or however whatever it is like you can find me all my links ⁓ if you want more content from me or just want to stay connected. I'm just very grateful that you're spending your time with me, spending your money on me, however it is. It just, it really means the world. So thank you for supporting my dream and I just want to be here to support yours as well. until next time my friends, don't forget you're worth it. You are worth it. I'm going to say it one more time. You are worth it. And I really appreciate you. Thanks for listening and bye for now.
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